Do you think time would pass me by?
2002-06-22 - 1:23 a.m.

Am undescribably happy to be home again despite late hour. I have hot tea, cold pad thai, and very red buddy list which makes a girl like me very very happy.

Have been trying to keep eyes glued to the screen while downing the pad thai. Afraid may have gotten some on chair.
Am a total sadcase.

I'll start from where I left off yesterday, since I've some things to tell yeah and I figure, hey, might as well try for once in my life to be linear.

Stop with the looks, I only said try.

Cinema gig last night. Aw. Am so glad Vyv was with me, would have probably died of embarassment otherwise. It was good, am now vowing to give whole-hearted support to unsigned bands, they rock. Music was good, company was good, singing inside, singing on street corners...

Well not so much corner as the middle of the street and since the suburb was pretty much deserted it wasn't like a thing ... but dang you really don't see enough people singing around for no reason.

It's up there on that list of things there need to be more of, with giant dancing penguins.

Came home smelling like cigarettes and cheap whores.

Okay maybe only cigarettes but one day I shall reach the cheap whore level and attain the whole clich�. And I'm sure some people I know would argue I already have ... thanks guys.

Work today was beyond blerggggh. Had to deal with a bitch of a customer. And I have the most painful bruise to prove it... no sadly not that way... As I was dashing back to serve her highness I clipped the metal plastic-bag-holders and so major ow. Almost ended up crying on someone else's groceries, just because of that girly thing where once your upset if someone says something nice as an attempt to comfort you, you completely lose it.

This didn't last too long as I started thinking about what it would be like to be shopping and have my checkout chick subtly crying, and me awkwardly pretending not to notice as my customers were doing. Giggle, giggle.

After work I went to uni to hand in my philosophy essay, my very late philosophy essay in which I need a passing grade in order to pass course in order to stay in degree. Ordinarily would be okay but uh, late marks mean I lose 20% if I understand accurately. So ... will Babs stay in uni or not? It's going to come as complete surprise either way... sometimes I think I do things like this just for the drama.

Did therapeutic shopping to relieve stress of day afterwards, bought clothes and much moisturiser and maxed out the zany ever-changing limit on my (savings) eftpos card. Really need to check with bank what that limit is, and make them take it away. It's always getting in the way of my sprees...

Am sitting here in new pants and top, oh-la-la! This makes me happy. But meanwhile, got home and then Shelley called and it was like "Argh! Going out!" and so haven't had chance to unwind til now, mmm, unwindage.

But to the being out portion of evening. We went by the Cargo Bar which is where we were supposed to be meeting the navy guys but there was ... not chickening outage more like bout of reason and sanity. Hence the not going afterall, but now I'm thinking, what if they brought other friends and said that we were coming and then we didn't and they got mocked? Aw... bad feeling.

After this we spent some time on the bridge staring at a blinking shiny thing and trying to decide whether it was a plane or a star or quite possibly a disco star at least according to Shelley. You wouldn't think it was entertaining but believe me, it was... and we hadn't even been drinking!

Shock horror. We ended up in Star Bar where there was a lil snacking and chatting. I had a drink which looked rather like the one over there (look left now) which was a strawberry non alcoholic daquiri. The waitress was all amazed and baffled by the lack of alcohol, but something in me had a pure fruit craving.

What else? Oh, then we went downstairs and played pool with some random guys. Brent? And ... someone who never did tell us his name. This was fun but too many games has left us with pool nausea. Shelley left early while me and Alex played on on opposite sides - her with Brent and me with Nameless. We kept trying to leave but Nameless kept calling tie breaker, so we stayed and played on. I played severely crap pretty much consistently the entire night, my crap "white ball in the pocket" and "oops forgot to actually aim at anything" shots made my team suck a lot.

But Nameless was pretty kickass so he generally compensated. In the final tiebreaker he sunk many shots simultaneously (although on one occasion Alex sunk 5 in a row!) to catch us up, and then Brent sunk his and Alex's final ball and now I forget how but somehow I was left alone with the cue, our final ball and the eight ball.

My mind was so oh crap. But I aimed and somehow sunk our last ball, leaving me with the eight ball. And while I'm like aiming and thinking "Nooo ... not gonna happen," I managed to hit the ball ... and sink it! Much surprise from everyone including me, and I threw up hands in the air forgetting I was holding the cue and accidently hit the cue with the ceiling.

Oh, no, I'm not a big dork. But after that I had giddy pool happy because I finished the game while showing that I'm not a crap player all the time. So maybe a lil dork.

I liked Nameless' concentrating face. And I liked the way he'd aim, pull the cue back, aim, pull the cue back, aim, pull the cue back ... so you never could quite tell when he was going. Don't misconstrue though, I just want more guys around, although preferably not with bad alcohol breath like Nameless or those who smoke like he and Brent did. Guys, smoking, what is with that? It's stupid that I'm only partially annoyed cos it's a habit that kills, and more annoyed that it meant I came home smelling like cigarettes for the second night in a row.

Which of course is suspicious when you tell your overstrict parents you're going to the library. One big lie with smaller lies to cover up the bad lie stitching. I wonder when these lies will cave in on me, because you know even the least unlikely hidden truths do come out and cause everything to malfunction.... I know this from experience.

And I know it's stupid but I'm still thinking about him... urgh. Beddy-byes now... night.


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