Yesterday I turned 21. No, we aren't going there, it was fine. fine. I just hate my birthdays, violently. Abhor them to their sentimental core. Oh, how I could rant with pure loathing... But I won't, because it's over, and to be fair I did get shiny things and cakes, as well as a marvellous 364 days without another such day.

'Salright? 'Salright.

*****

Last night some relatives were over. My mum's sister called from the other side of the globe and wished me a happy birthday and then told me to look after my mother because "life will be bad without her."

I humoured her with a "yeah" but was extremely close to blurting out "what do you know?! cow!"

Anyway, I then passed the phone to my mother. As they talked, a cousin and I watched my mother grow noticeably nervous as she started to shake into the phone. I suppose her sister must have been talking to her about her illness, which said cousin knows of, but mother does not know said cousin knows of; and mother's addled brain does not seem to fathom that (a) her illness is obvious to everyone with half a brain or (b) she can make her answers ambiguous. So instead she whispers into the phone "I can't talk. (cousin) is here!" while sitting across from cousin mind you.

Cousin actually looks at her and says "auntie, if there's something you don't want me to hear, you can just go in the other room." So she does that, and cousin proceeds to give me an appropriate weird look about the exchange.

I glide right by it and offer her some tea.

Strangeness is commonplace in my household.

*****

Procrastination Monster: Oh darling, you are the tastiest thing ever, let's elope!
Babs: Oh, I don't know, eventually I'm going to run out of work to not do... will you still love me then??
Procrassie: Oh silly! Like you would ever run out of work to not do!
Babs: ... Good point.

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