2003-12-23 - 5:18 p.m.
As I was thinking about the list I made the other day I realised that I unconsciously break my life down into these snapshots that fit this framework I've put up for myself, and honestly, it's a pretty stupid framework.
I need some new eyes ... mine are broken liars.
To remedy, here are a few non framework-compatible bits that are me too.
When it came time to pick a window to look through in playschool I always guessed the arch.
I like the sight and feel and warmth of blood. I think it's likely I was a vampire bat in a past life.
I love driving with my father; well he drives actually and as we make our way across space and time together I'll sing along offkey with the radio at the top of my lungs while he moshes or drums along.
In kindergarten I wanted to become a grocer. I actually did do that in a way with checkout-chick-ing last year, and now I have no bloody clue what I want.
Before the teenage years I was a dreamer, but somewhere in there the dreams became less than enough.
Do you know what happens to a dreamer that loses the dream??? They become an 'er' ... how disconcerting.
But no really, I have become this sort of stopgap, and I feel like I am between myselves. This leads to an awful lot of whining, so my apologies.
Christmas is coming, christmas is coming... it's odd though, I am getting back into the spirit, but it's not quite the spirit of christmas so much as my own twisted version of it.
While everybody else celebrates the birth of a saviour and his death as salvation of people everywhere I'm more celebrating the "hey, someone gave us a saviour and we crucified him, aren't humans great," ... okay maybe not celebrating so much as squinting disapprovingly.
And also the angel that was standing on the top of my christmas tree has somehow fallen off her perch and landed a branch or two lower, on her head.
So she sits there, upside down, and I can't bring myself to get a chair to fix her position, because she just seems appropriate, and not because I know any fallen angels, no.
Whenever I look at her I think "you know, she probably isn't wearing any underwear," and then I can't seem to shake the idea that she's flashing god.
This of course amuses me no end. I'm going to hell, aren't I.
But anyway, happy the xmas, hanukkah, kwanzaa, and any other holiday I may have ignorantly overlooked. Peace, love, and all that good shit, to one and all.
I need some new eyes ... mine are broken liars.
To remedy, here are a few non framework-compatible bits that are me too.
When it came time to pick a window to look through in playschool I always guessed the arch.
I like the sight and feel and warmth of blood. I think it's likely I was a vampire bat in a past life.
I love driving with my father; well he drives actually and as we make our way across space and time together I'll sing along offkey with the radio at the top of my lungs while he moshes or drums along.
In kindergarten I wanted to become a grocer. I actually did do that in a way with checkout-chick-ing last year, and now I have no bloody clue what I want.
Before the teenage years I was a dreamer, but somewhere in there the dreams became less than enough.
Do you know what happens to a dreamer that loses the dream??? They become an 'er' ... how disconcerting.
But no really, I have become this sort of stopgap, and I feel like I am between myselves. This leads to an awful lot of whining, so my apologies.
Christmas is coming, christmas is coming... it's odd though, I am getting back into the spirit, but it's not quite the spirit of christmas so much as my own twisted version of it.
While everybody else celebrates the birth of a saviour and his death as salvation of people everywhere I'm more celebrating the "hey, someone gave us a saviour and we crucified him, aren't humans great," ... okay maybe not celebrating so much as squinting disapprovingly.
And also the angel that was standing on the top of my christmas tree has somehow fallen off her perch and landed a branch or two lower, on her head.
So she sits there, upside down, and I can't bring myself to get a chair to fix her position, because she just seems appropriate, and not because I know any fallen angels, no.
Whenever I look at her I think "you know, she probably isn't wearing any underwear," and then I can't seem to shake the idea that she's flashing god.
This of course amuses me no end. I'm going to hell, aren't I.
But anyway, happy the xmas, hanukkah, kwanzaa, and any other holiday I may have ignorantly overlooked. Peace, love, and all that good shit, to one and all.
