time to shake it down from every side
2004-02-04 - 3:23 p.m.
I ran into some family friends today while I was running, well, really it was semi-power-walking, but since that's as close as I'll ever get to running let's let the irony stand.
I hadn't seen them in a few years and some of them I don't like as much as the title family friend would imply, but somehow enjoyed the encounter.
I condensed my life as of late down into a few sentences and I walked away thinking, you know, when I put it that way and use the edit-out-all-crap button and you know, lie, life comes out looking pretty damn shiny.
I like that there's a possibility of shiny life lurking somewhere under the everyday grime. Even though it feels a bit like I'm trying to shove a square through a triangular hole... I have a lazy acceptance vibe going on with life right now, we don't necessarily like each other but we get along.
What do I even want anyway... perpetually clueless. I have multiple idealised existances floating aimlessly through my excuse for a brain, but, they need severe modifications to get anywhere near the realm of reality. And I'm a perfectionist if nothing else, so rather than concede one flaw I'd rather chuck the whole thing. And I'm lazy, so of course I let the flaws slide.
It's all snakes and ladder-y. Except in my game it's called "snakes and snakes". The ladders just weren't pheasible in the end... all that climbing seemed like too much effort... so they were replaced with more snakes with the thought that maybe progress would be better appreciated.
Waaaaaaaay too many I's in the above, like, dude. It's the part time recluse thing, lack of external stimuli, so am left with brain making it's equivalent of "miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow", goddamn introspection, damnit to hell, I'm sure that's where all the interesting thinkers end up anyway. Not that my pale lacklustre simulacra fall into that category...
Does that mean I get into heaven by default?
ARGH! I'm going to stop talking about me now, I'm going to pin my fingers to the desk until they come up with something else.
... This could be awhile.
I hadn't seen them in a few years and some of them I don't like as much as the title family friend would imply, but somehow enjoyed the encounter.
I condensed my life as of late down into a few sentences and I walked away thinking, you know, when I put it that way and use the edit-out-all-crap button and you know, lie, life comes out looking pretty damn shiny.
I like that there's a possibility of shiny life lurking somewhere under the everyday grime. Even though it feels a bit like I'm trying to shove a square through a triangular hole... I have a lazy acceptance vibe going on with life right now, we don't necessarily like each other but we get along.
What do I even want anyway... perpetually clueless. I have multiple idealised existances floating aimlessly through my excuse for a brain, but, they need severe modifications to get anywhere near the realm of reality. And I'm a perfectionist if nothing else, so rather than concede one flaw I'd rather chuck the whole thing. And I'm lazy, so of course I let the flaws slide.
It's all snakes and ladder-y. Except in my game it's called "snakes and snakes". The ladders just weren't pheasible in the end... all that climbing seemed like too much effort... so they were replaced with more snakes with the thought that maybe progress would be better appreciated.
Waaaaaaaay too many I's in the above, like, dude. It's the part time recluse thing, lack of external stimuli, so am left with brain making it's equivalent of "miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow miaow", goddamn introspection, damnit to hell, I'm sure that's where all the interesting thinkers end up anyway. Not that my pale lacklustre simulacra fall into that category...
Does that mean I get into heaven by default?
ARGH! I'm going to stop talking about me now, I'm going to pin my fingers to the desk until they come up with something else.
... This could be awhile.
