2003-05-26 - 3:23 p.m.
My tooth hurts whenever I eat anything or drink anything hot/cold/sweet, and that coupled with the fact that the eurovision song contestant for croatia was a gorgeously skinny itty bitty thing (seriously, she was a stick on smaller stick legs) makes me want to go all skeletal through a nice anorexia hit.
I could be a stick on stick legs! I know I could! But my body is just lucky I am inherently, inherently lazy...
And besides, I'm making a cheesecake for my birthday, so where would the fun in that be aside from torturing myself and then feeling guilty for giving in ... if you're into the whole masochism as fun thing anyway.
I'm making my cake, that seems wrong, but I don't want mum to stress out over it so I'm doing it. If it were up to me there would be no cake but apparently brother is coming over and that means maybe kids and so of course they'll be like "where's the cake?" even though, come to think of it, they don't even like cheesecake.
Freaking family dynamics. But I like cheesecake! I'm not going to go to all the trouble of making a cake for my own birthday and not bothering to make the one I like...
Rah rah rah. Birthday is already sucking and it isn't even here yet... I spent hours this morning with parentals looking for brother's birthday present, even though his technically isn't til July but since he moved it to early June on account of it being a house party and there house being knocked down in late June... blah, apparently he needs a present.
So yes this morning was spent looking at gazillions of expensive watches (around $300 mark, it is his fortieth, blah) except for the point where I ducked into CD store and came out proclaiming "I want a CD," to which I got "Pfft, you don't need a CD" and they carried on til I made a point of their unwillingness to spend even 10% of amount they're spending on him on me, (quietly: even though I'm the one who spends most of her time with them, putting up with them, helping them, despite them giving him everything and him doing literally jack all... and it actually is my birthday nowish)
But nyah. Later I bought the Superjesus CD and some moisturiser I wanted and put it in a bag, shoved it at my mother, and told her to give it to me on Wednesday.
Birthdays and birthday related customs, I hate you, really hate you. Probably mostly because there's a bag in sportsgirl I want that would never even cross anyone's mind to get me. It's $40 and I don't need a bag, but...
I don't know. I just looked at it and thought it was lovely, and I was thinking about how much I'd love to get something like that out of the blue. But I never would. All birthdays have involved me making long specific lists of what I want, for parentals benefit, as every year up until now they've had to ask me exactly what I wanted and I had to spell out exactly where and what it was... I don't know. It's not their fault. I'm just tired of it.
They'll probably just end up giving me some lovely thoughtless money, so I shouldn't complain. Anything over $50 and I'll be happy, and hopefully I can save it, I need a holiday...
Shopping otherwise was frustrating. My mother is ultra fussy is all but is not always able to express what she wants and so I have to guess and then I get yelled at for being wrong. And father is so non helpful,after asking if he could wait outside ("No! If I have to go through this headache so do you!") he's all little kid with looking at stuff and I have to play chiding mother, it's weird...
Tooth aching again, I took some painkillers but it's weird, it was getting better before but now it seems to be getting worse... And I haven't started the ling assignment due tomorrow. And the only only things on my brain is wondering where my mother's belt from the 70s is (it's tacky and I want to wear it, it looks like carpet), wanting to have cheesecake now, and wishing birthday would bugger off.
I could be a stick on stick legs! I know I could! But my body is just lucky I am inherently, inherently lazy...
And besides, I'm making a cheesecake for my birthday, so where would the fun in that be aside from torturing myself and then feeling guilty for giving in ... if you're into the whole masochism as fun thing anyway.
I'm making my cake, that seems wrong, but I don't want mum to stress out over it so I'm doing it. If it were up to me there would be no cake but apparently brother is coming over and that means maybe kids and so of course they'll be like "where's the cake?" even though, come to think of it, they don't even like cheesecake.
Freaking family dynamics. But I like cheesecake! I'm not going to go to all the trouble of making a cake for my own birthday and not bothering to make the one I like...
Rah rah rah. Birthday is already sucking and it isn't even here yet... I spent hours this morning with parentals looking for brother's birthday present, even though his technically isn't til July but since he moved it to early June on account of it being a house party and there house being knocked down in late June... blah, apparently he needs a present.
So yes this morning was spent looking at gazillions of expensive watches (around $300 mark, it is his fortieth, blah) except for the point where I ducked into CD store and came out proclaiming "I want a CD," to which I got "Pfft, you don't need a CD" and they carried on til I made a point of their unwillingness to spend even 10% of amount they're spending on him on me, (quietly: even though I'm the one who spends most of her time with them, putting up with them, helping them, despite them giving him everything and him doing literally jack all... and it actually is my birthday nowish)
But nyah. Later I bought the Superjesus CD and some moisturiser I wanted and put it in a bag, shoved it at my mother, and told her to give it to me on Wednesday.
Birthdays and birthday related customs, I hate you, really hate you. Probably mostly because there's a bag in sportsgirl I want that would never even cross anyone's mind to get me. It's $40 and I don't need a bag, but...
I don't know. I just looked at it and thought it was lovely, and I was thinking about how much I'd love to get something like that out of the blue. But I never would. All birthdays have involved me making long specific lists of what I want, for parentals benefit, as every year up until now they've had to ask me exactly what I wanted and I had to spell out exactly where and what it was... I don't know. It's not their fault. I'm just tired of it.
They'll probably just end up giving me some lovely thoughtless money, so I shouldn't complain. Anything over $50 and I'll be happy, and hopefully I can save it, I need a holiday...
Shopping otherwise was frustrating. My mother is ultra fussy is all but is not always able to express what she wants and so I have to guess and then I get yelled at for being wrong. And father is so non helpful,after asking if he could wait outside ("No! If I have to go through this headache so do you!") he's all little kid with looking at stuff and I have to play chiding mother, it's weird...
Tooth aching again, I took some painkillers but it's weird, it was getting better before but now it seems to be getting worse... And I haven't started the ling assignment due tomorrow. And the only only things on my brain is wondering where my mother's belt from the 70s is (it's tacky and I want to wear it, it looks like carpet), wanting to have cheesecake now, and wishing birthday would bugger off.
