am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong, in your reverie a perfect girl
2004-12-08 - 6:15 p.m.

Arrrgggh. I think I pissed off somebody upstairs, God, Buddha, Jebus, Sandra Sully, you know, one of the big important people.

You remember that guy I accidentally made out with? Well, the lovely x, as I have decided he shall be known as hereforth, once christened that guy tongue-monkey (urrrgh... already nauseated just thinking about it ... ewww... tongue-monkey) and the name kinda stuck.

Anyway, that's where we are pseudonyms-wise.

Meanwhile tongue-monkey is all "come to my birthday party!" while I'm all "um, no," and then I realised I have to spend time with him anyway on sunday 'cos he's coming to the big group picnic thingy, and this makes me squirmy, oh so squirmy.

Meanwhile meanwhile, I don't hear much of the lovely x except for the occasional sms, and I ... I want more than that, but I can't ask, because then it would all just feel like I'd be forcing him into places he otherwise wouldn't be. And I can't do that to him or me.

I don't think he evens reads this anymore, and that... well, we won't go there.

Ehh, I guess. Since I started to get to know him, lovely x drove me crazy, and he still does, but the ways have changed a bit. He'll probably drive me crazy til the day I drop dead, regardless of whether he does anything. Hah, oh, that shouldn't be a warming thought but it kinda is.

Anyway, I just think I messed up with some important spiritual entity somehow. With lovely x far and tongue-monkey disgustingly slobberingly close. shudder.

Maybe I'm supposed to learn a lesson from it! yeah, yeah, that's what they do on tv!

Tongue-monkey's pretty obvious: Things you do. have. CONSEQUENCES. big word, I know. Also potentially: watch. where. you. put. your freaking mouth!

Lovely x is harder. Maybe if I ask myself again in a year. something good though. I don't think I learned any of those bitter lessons people learn when there is dumping. Because I know... I know... something. ask me again in a year.

Had a job interview today, plus some exciting lesbian dates this week (okay, they're actually just me hanging around with a friend who's a girl, but lesbian date gives them so much more cred... oh, remind me to tell you at some point of my [unrelated] plans to be a lesbian. ahhh, babbling in parentheses, ain't it great.)

Mmm. so, some life having, and such. sleepykins. night honeys.

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