Too many ants...
2002-12-03 - 2:14 p.m.

I think I am having an ant infestation in here ... either that or it is just one ant running around really fast. A super ant maybe.

If I could draw, I would have a cartoon called Psychic Ant. He would be like Lassie with the helping people, but in ant form. And his arch nemesis would be people's feet... at the end of every episode he'd be on the verge of being squished by some shoe and it'd be like "Look out, Psychic Ant! Tune in next week to see if he survives this clash with another shoe of evil!"

Okay, too much time in my little fantasy world. I'll stop now. But he would have a really cute tiny cape...

It isn't as hot as the weather people said it would be. Damn them.... I suppose I'll have to waste today doing semi-productive things like the cleaning I promised my mother I'd do.

Another lazy day then... You know I'm probably going to be insane by the end of this three and a half months vacation. I mean sure, I could actually do something, but where's the laziness in that?

Signs of craziness have already begun.

Late at night I start to hear random snippets of voices again, like someone is fiddling with the dial on the radio station in my head. Can't you just see me on a poster sporting a cheeky grin above the heading "Got schizophrenia?"

And of course the free time means my imagination is on overdrive.... I go to open the blinds in my room and as I reach the string which draws them up I envision someone standing outside with a gun aimed at me, ready to shoot as soon as I have blinked.

In the ten seconds it takes to walk back to the kitchen I have already imagined my funeral, the tears shed by my mother, the sad jokes by friends, the comfy pants I'm wearing in the casket (hey, if I'm going to rot, I have to be comfortable)... and I see SmartGuy, for some reason, finally finding out about all my feelings re: him... being blown away by it all.

The thought kind of makes me smile.
I am a weirdo, I know.

Isn't it unnatural how even in thoughts of my death he is the star?

I don't know if this means that I am just a huge freak or something more... needs thought but I'm too lazy to give it.

An ant has run under the keys of my keyboard. Every time one disappears, another one reappears in a totally different part of my desk. I still haven't figured out if it's one magic ant or just a clever army of ants. Maybe it's like that santa thing... you never see him in a picture...with...ants.

That's not the saying is it.

I think this is my cue to go inside, binge some, watch passions, and ponder the ant-y mysteries of life.

Ciao... (which, incidently, we learned in ling tute has origins which mean "I am your slave"...)


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