2003-10-11 - 12:08 a.m.
Today I spent the first two hours of uni trying not to fall asleep by fidgeting like a mad woman.
After that I got hot chocolate to wake me up, which did the job by burning my tongue and I was annoyingly awake for the next two boring hours.
Uni is an irritation. Sometimes I do okay, sometimes I don't, but both would be okay if it meant something to me.
I'd love to metaphorise this as just being another fork in the path, but I'm not even on the path, I haven't been on it for years. Can't remember why I wandered off but it seemed the thing to do at the time, now the wolf sometimes takes to nipping at my heels, I'm pretty sure grandma's already dead, and the hunter is on strike til they up his wages or someone gets him a cuter outfit.
On the bright side I still have a few of the cookies my mother sent me off with. Whatever you want to take that to mean.
I saw Smart Guy a little today, but have gone backwards in progress, said nothing. There was nothing to be said. I am thinking that I should stop and rename him pedestal boy, because for me there will never be another I elevate quite so high, and that's probably a good thing.
We fox-ed it today. We being Shelley, Al & me. Time with friends is always well spent.
Thirsty Merc were there, and they rocked, as of course always. Shelley and the lead singer conversed, it was kind of awkward, I wanted to stop them and use my hands as puppets and show them how a nice nonawkward conversation would go, but I refrained.
Awkward moments have this impermeable spell around them. And I never know how scenes that unfold before me should go until it's way too late to rewrite my part.
I have this awkward feeling it's always going to be like that.
But what do I know, I hyperventilate over spilt milk, tear up over films with reese witherspoon in them, and yet stare on unflinchingly when watching a guy pee on another guy's head (...dos dedos was a weird band).
Still, there's always tomorrow.
Until there isn't.
After that I got hot chocolate to wake me up, which did the job by burning my tongue and I was annoyingly awake for the next two boring hours.
Uni is an irritation. Sometimes I do okay, sometimes I don't, but both would be okay if it meant something to me.
I'd love to metaphorise this as just being another fork in the path, but I'm not even on the path, I haven't been on it for years. Can't remember why I wandered off but it seemed the thing to do at the time, now the wolf sometimes takes to nipping at my heels, I'm pretty sure grandma's already dead, and the hunter is on strike til they up his wages or someone gets him a cuter outfit.
On the bright side I still have a few of the cookies my mother sent me off with. Whatever you want to take that to mean.
I saw Smart Guy a little today, but have gone backwards in progress, said nothing. There was nothing to be said. I am thinking that I should stop and rename him pedestal boy, because for me there will never be another I elevate quite so high, and that's probably a good thing.
We fox-ed it today. We being Shelley, Al & me. Time with friends is always well spent.
Thirsty Merc were there, and they rocked, as of course always. Shelley and the lead singer conversed, it was kind of awkward, I wanted to stop them and use my hands as puppets and show them how a nice nonawkward conversation would go, but I refrained.
Awkward moments have this impermeable spell around them. And I never know how scenes that unfold before me should go until it's way too late to rewrite my part.
I have this awkward feeling it's always going to be like that.
But what do I know, I hyperventilate over spilt milk, tear up over films with reese witherspoon in them, and yet stare on unflinchingly when watching a guy pee on another guy's head (...dos dedos was a weird band).
Still, there's always tomorrow.
Until there isn't.
