Break and bend under the pressure, but I'll hold for now
2002-12-02 - 7:45 p.m.

Home is another one of those things which demands my attention... sure, I need to get my L's and P's and learn how to cook and take some kind of exercisey class and organise a dinner party and shop for christmas and write all the christmas cards and do extra shifts at work, but...

I think the fact that my mother has been going around the house crying as she does household chores is something which demands my attention.

The first few times I saw my mother cry it really cut me... when I was little she was always alright, she was my pillar of stability type thing, so when she was so upset... it made me feel unsafe. But now ... I'm used to it.

Things are hard. But I'm trying. What more can be said...

This is not just a paradoxical observation but a comment I sincerely direct at you - something has to break, otherwise you'll always be broken.


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