2002-12-24 - 8:28 p.m.
My life is odd, but I don't know how to explain it. It's not that I live the life of a lap dancing nun who solves crime (although we all know, she's in me) or that I survive on a mundane existance mediated between the categories of uni, work, and other (although that sometimes feels true enough)... I guess it's somewhere in between that.
I still don't know how to convey this at all, so will do what people lacking originality always do... appropriate...
random 'my day' type facts
-> Left the house while watching Ricki Lake ("Girl, Have your tubes tied!") and Jerry Springer ("I want my lover back!") and got home in time for the end of Passions
-> The bus driver wouldn't open the doors to let me on the bus this morning. I looked up at him to find he was using his fingers to pull his lips back into a joker-grimace type smile. I giggled in horror and he opened the doors, telling me "Smile, miserable!"
-> Sidenote to above: after I put my blue concession pass in he asked to check my concession card, and he found out my name and used it. Highly odd and rather scary when you're the only person on the bus... (even though, later actions revealed him to be a sweetie). I don't know, yesterday it was Argh! The mormons know where I live! and today it's Argh! The bus driver knows my name!... it all just leaves me nervy about tomorrow's installment.
-> Wore wintery type clothing and was so not awake that I didn't even realise how overly hot it and I was til 20 minutes away from my house. Am a slow, slow person.
-> Went back to thrift store and bought top for her, just because she has a skirt that I think would match it nicely. Am unofficially in love with thrift stores as I love the hunt and officially my ideal job would be buying clothes for other people. Someone get me that job now please?
-> Spent large portion of my day prancing around in tacky pink new-preloved shoes. I adore them! Perfect height. Perfect fit. Cost next to nothing and found utterly by coincidence.
-> Atmosphere at house currently feels like the quiet part of the horror movie just before all the death and gore. This is due to the major blowout I had with fatherkins last night... and the fact that today we're pretending nothing happened. We're good at dealing like that, apparently.
-> Guilt re: blowout was so bad I cleaned. Me! Cleaning! When no one had asked me! I'm weird....
-> Smartguy fantasies: 4. Not a bad count. Not overly obsessed.
-> Urge to contact mathsguy again despite learning yesterday from my mother (who learned ages ago from his mother) that had I left things hanging (as I had really planned on doing, expecting him to go away after a few weeks) he had planned on waiting for me for two years. Two years! freak. After which he intended to go to america to meet some other net girl. freeeeeeeak...: 2. Recurring ideas that when his mother stalked me at work I wasn't looking my best and she could have reported I was ugly. And so when I did tell him in politer terms to bugger off his relief was because he thought I was an ugly ugly person. Which isn't fair, it makes me go "But I'm the one who's too good for you! not vice versa! I mightn't be the prettiest but I don't send my mother to stalk people for me!" (duh... I send my friends to stalk people for me)
I'm paranoid and insecure but so happy with the materials I have right now that everything seems damn fine. Now chin up and let's find another day ... okay?
I still don't know how to convey this at all, so will do what people lacking originality always do... appropriate...
-> Left the house while watching Ricki Lake ("Girl, Have your tubes tied!") and Jerry Springer ("I want my lover back!") and got home in time for the end of Passions
-> The bus driver wouldn't open the doors to let me on the bus this morning. I looked up at him to find he was using his fingers to pull his lips back into a joker-grimace type smile. I giggled in horror and he opened the doors, telling me "Smile, miserable!"
-> Sidenote to above: after I put my blue concession pass in he asked to check my concession card, and he found out my name and used it. Highly odd and rather scary when you're the only person on the bus... (even though, later actions revealed him to be a sweetie). I don't know, yesterday it was Argh! The mormons know where I live! and today it's Argh! The bus driver knows my name!... it all just leaves me nervy about tomorrow's installment.
-> Wore wintery type clothing and was so not awake that I didn't even realise how overly hot it and I was til 20 minutes away from my house. Am a slow, slow person.
-> Went back to thrift store and bought top for her, just because she has a skirt that I think would match it nicely. Am unofficially in love with thrift stores as I love the hunt and officially my ideal job would be buying clothes for other people. Someone get me that job now please?
-> Spent large portion of my day prancing around in tacky pink new-preloved shoes. I adore them! Perfect height. Perfect fit. Cost next to nothing and found utterly by coincidence.
-> Atmosphere at house currently feels like the quiet part of the horror movie just before all the death and gore. This is due to the major blowout I had with fatherkins last night... and the fact that today we're pretending nothing happened. We're good at dealing like that, apparently.
-> Guilt re: blowout was so bad I cleaned. Me! Cleaning! When no one had asked me! I'm weird....
-> Smartguy fantasies: 4. Not a bad count. Not overly obsessed.
-> Urge to contact mathsguy again despite learning yesterday from my mother (who learned ages ago from his mother) that had I left things hanging (as I had really planned on doing, expecting him to go away after a few weeks) he had planned on waiting for me for two years. Two years! freak. After which he intended to go to america to meet some other net girl. freeeeeeeak...: 2. Recurring ideas that when his mother stalked me at work I wasn't looking my best and she could have reported I was ugly. And so when I did tell him in politer terms to bugger off his relief was because he thought I was an ugly ugly person. Which isn't fair, it makes me go "But I'm the one who's too good for you! not vice versa! I mightn't be the prettiest but I don't send my mother to stalk people for me!" (duh... I send my friends to stalk people for me)
I'm paranoid and insecure but so happy with the materials I have right now that everything seems damn fine. Now chin up and let's find another day ... okay?
