2003-10-29 - 7:53 p.m.
I forgot to tell you of a minute but somehow personally relevant moment that happened to me the other day -
The scene is on the bus home, I find myself sitting behind another nauseatingly cute couple, but this time rather than grit my teeth and look away, I find myself observing them.
I can overhear only bits of their conversation, enough to distinguish that they're foreign, european probably with the slavic good looks and blonde hair to match.
She is resting her head on his shoulder, not much is being said, and they look at ease with themselves and with the world and I can't help but admire them for that.
I'm not sitting by myself, in fact I am next to a rather overweight woman who is wearing a particularly unflattering polka dot shirt.
It's at about this moment that I realise that I'm eating lollies voraciously and that I own a top with polka dots on it, and I'm forced to conclude the overweight woman is me in twenty years.
Sitting on the bus, probably envying the young not overweight girl sitting next to her eating lollies, and envying the couple in front of us a whole lot more.
And it was comforting in a strange way, like look, you do have a future ... it just isn't a good one. And surprisingly, I could probably live with that (stupid lack of ambition).
The scene is on the bus home, I find myself sitting behind another nauseatingly cute couple, but this time rather than grit my teeth and look away, I find myself observing them.
I can overhear only bits of their conversation, enough to distinguish that they're foreign, european probably with the slavic good looks and blonde hair to match.
She is resting her head on his shoulder, not much is being said, and they look at ease with themselves and with the world and I can't help but admire them for that.
I'm not sitting by myself, in fact I am next to a rather overweight woman who is wearing a particularly unflattering polka dot shirt.
It's at about this moment that I realise that I'm eating lollies voraciously and that I own a top with polka dots on it, and I'm forced to conclude the overweight woman is me in twenty years.
Sitting on the bus, probably envying the young not overweight girl sitting next to her eating lollies, and envying the couple in front of us a whole lot more.
And it was comforting in a strange way, like look, you do have a future ... it just isn't a good one. And surprisingly, I could probably live with that (stupid lack of ambition).
