2002-08-19 - 11:46 p.m.
I had an entry for you earlier and of course seeing as I felt I had it perfected the computer froze and lost it for me, such is life.
Although I hate treading the same path twice I've been doing it my entire lifetime thus far so I don't see why I hesitate to do it here.
So,
Have consumed almost entire block of chocolate today, again. NO, not even again, but again again. Why? For some reason my mother bought many blocks of it for herself even though she has never even bought a bar for herself in her lifetime til now... it's the change I tell you.
But anyway, being the dutiful daughter that I am I obviously unconsciously decided that it was my responsibility to do the only humane thing possible and consume chocolate myself.
Yes, I took a bullet of fat for that woman...
Kept expecting the food police to appear and shout "Stop abusing your body! Put the chocolate down!"
Which would cause me to share an intimate look with the chocolate and forlornly put it down. The food police would of course then instruct me to back away from it slowly, and although I would appear to be obeying I would actually be taking that moment to snatch the previously abandoned chocolate wrapper and use it to temporarily blind them and make a quick getaway.
You can practically hear the violins playing as I and chocolate are reunited.
Other than my abusive emotional on-again-off-again relationship with chocolate and other foodstuffs, there is nothing much to report.
Except perhaps for the potential irony in my love for chocolate and the fact that I also love Milo (Ventimiglia)... that look makes me melt and I like chocolate that melts in my mouth and woo look at the links there and I'm rambling oh god.
Away from things of melt, today was a day like many others except I felt like a true uni student as skipped four of my five classes.
Instead only attended psych tute where I further confirmed my existence as a total idiot, and then went to favourite tea place with colleen where we sat and of all things had tea.
It was good as tea=yummy and there was much ramblage on various subjects and is it bad that I am already planning my wedding in my head while overlooking the fact that deep down (not that far deep, even) I know that no one could ever love me like that really? Or even at all.
And that isn't a cry for guestbook love (although it never hurts, hint hint) just a mere statement of the facts from my point of view. And I'm sure the facts look different from yours and it probably just seems like I'm being down on myself but I am now quietly assuring you that there are things you can't, won't ever see about me that I do and this, this is one of those now.
Vagueness is me but bear. Have been experiencing deep yearning to be housewife already, barefoot and pregnant in a nice expensive kitchen where my main concern is when my husband will arrive home and whether the pot roast will be overcooked.
Let me just now restate for those of you that weren't previously aware that my biological clock, possibly armed with some unconscious knowledge that my life will not be a long one, is ticking at about three times the rate of a normal person's.
I mean this of course seriously as am often sitting in uni lectures making "tick, tick" noises in back of my throat.
But meanwhile also having baby yearns overly, consequential to the housewife yearns... I want to be one of the ones whose main highlight of the week is getting her hair and nails done.
But strangely enough I want my husband to leave me for someone younger about seven years into the marriage. This is expected because I know I could never have any kind of lasting relationship where a person doesn't get bored with me.
The only thing I learned in primary school is that people leave.
Of course by this time I will be old and the bloom of youth which would have once made me almost attractive will be long gone and there would never be anyone else just out of default, although I might settle down with a nice gay male friend just to have company in old age.
It seems like I've thought about this but honestly have not until now when it all sort of materialised. I don't like to think what it says about me, but...
IN other news, I think Colleen should get Keiko hair. It is the good.
That is all.
Although I hate treading the same path twice I've been doing it my entire lifetime thus far so I don't see why I hesitate to do it here.
So,
Have consumed almost entire block of chocolate today, again. NO, not even again, but again again. Why? For some reason my mother bought many blocks of it for herself even though she has never even bought a bar for herself in her lifetime til now... it's the change I tell you.
But anyway, being the dutiful daughter that I am I obviously unconsciously decided that it was my responsibility to do the only humane thing possible and consume chocolate myself.
Yes, I took a bullet of fat for that woman...
Kept expecting the food police to appear and shout "Stop abusing your body! Put the chocolate down!"
Which would cause me to share an intimate look with the chocolate and forlornly put it down. The food police would of course then instruct me to back away from it slowly, and although I would appear to be obeying I would actually be taking that moment to snatch the previously abandoned chocolate wrapper and use it to temporarily blind them and make a quick getaway.
You can practically hear the violins playing as I and chocolate are reunited.
Other than my abusive emotional on-again-off-again relationship with chocolate and other foodstuffs, there is nothing much to report.
Except perhaps for the potential irony in my love for chocolate and the fact that I also love Milo (Ventimiglia)... that look makes me melt and I like chocolate that melts in my mouth and woo look at the links there and I'm rambling oh god.
Away from things of melt, today was a day like many others except I felt like a true uni student as skipped four of my five classes.
Instead only attended psych tute where I further confirmed my existence as a total idiot, and then went to favourite tea place with colleen where we sat and of all things had tea.
It was good as tea=yummy and there was much ramblage on various subjects and is it bad that I am already planning my wedding in my head while overlooking the fact that deep down (not that far deep, even) I know that no one could ever love me like that really? Or even at all.
And that isn't a cry for guestbook love (although it never hurts, hint hint) just a mere statement of the facts from my point of view. And I'm sure the facts look different from yours and it probably just seems like I'm being down on myself but I am now quietly assuring you that there are things you can't, won't ever see about me that I do and this, this is one of those now.
Vagueness is me but bear. Have been experiencing deep yearning to be housewife already, barefoot and pregnant in a nice expensive kitchen where my main concern is when my husband will arrive home and whether the pot roast will be overcooked.
Let me just now restate for those of you that weren't previously aware that my biological clock, possibly armed with some unconscious knowledge that my life will not be a long one, is ticking at about three times the rate of a normal person's.
I mean this of course seriously as am often sitting in uni lectures making "tick, tick" noises in back of my throat.
But meanwhile also having baby yearns overly, consequential to the housewife yearns... I want to be one of the ones whose main highlight of the week is getting her hair and nails done.
But strangely enough I want my husband to leave me for someone younger about seven years into the marriage. This is expected because I know I could never have any kind of lasting relationship where a person doesn't get bored with me.
The only thing I learned in primary school is that people leave.
Of course by this time I will be old and the bloom of youth which would have once made me almost attractive will be long gone and there would never be anyone else just out of default, although I might settle down with a nice gay male friend just to have company in old age.
It seems like I've thought about this but honestly have not until now when it all sort of materialised. I don't like to think what it says about me, but...
IN other news, I think Colleen should get Keiko hair. It is the good.
That is all.
