2003-02-07 - 9:07 p.m.
I keep buying trashy magazines, it's very bad. Mainly to my financial state but also messing with my head.
Not so much with the me desiring the unattainable airbrushed figure, although sure that's in there too.
It's something to do with pretense. I buy the everyday trashy girly girl magamazine as if to say to the world, hey look, I am the everyday trashy girly girl, only not too loudly as they would notice that... But one day my grand delusions will fall to my foregone conclusions. And. that. will. be. that. The council will meet and I'll be voted off the world, I will not be favoured by men with roses nor pearls.
But I guess it doesn't matter anyway, because it only does to me and my lack of matter means really it doesn't in the end. 0x1=0. The only math I really know. Really ever knew, I miss thinking it was more even though it only half ever was. 0x0.5=0.
This could be my cold talking or just a desperately bitter valentine's, or maybe something more.
Or less.
You decide. You always decide.
Not so much with the me desiring the unattainable airbrushed figure, although sure that's in there too.
It's something to do with pretense. I buy the everyday trashy girly girl magamazine as if to say to the world, hey look, I am the everyday trashy girly girl, only not too loudly as they would notice that... But one day my grand delusions will fall to my foregone conclusions. And. that. will. be. that. The council will meet and I'll be voted off the world, I will not be favoured by men with roses nor pearls.
But I guess it doesn't matter anyway, because it only does to me and my lack of matter means really it doesn't in the end. 0x1=0. The only math I really know. Really ever knew, I miss thinking it was more even though it only half ever was. 0x0.5=0.
This could be my cold talking or just a desperately bitter valentine's, or maybe something more.
Or less.
You decide. You always decide.
