Has anyone found a place where I can buy a paper bag that will fit my entire body? No? Ebay perhaps?

There has been more tooth related swelling making one half of my face look slightly inflated and causing people to greet me with "Wow... you look swollen,"

I'm pretty sure that by this time tomorrow my whole body will follow suit and I'll only be a shade of blue away from becoming the girl who chewed the gum but shouldn't have from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... what was her name? I always only remember Veruca Salt, her whole spoilt brat spiel always sticks in my head.

Anyway, body bad, much urge to rename self as Frakensteina. Thankfully my dentist returns from wherever he was tomorrow and if he can sort out my crazy mouth there is a good chance I'll be professing my undying love to him sometime in the near future.

I'm behind on work, behind at home, behind everywhere, hence much lazing around and implicit wishing I could just lose already so that at least then maybe I could start again.

I'm trying to think of crazy schemes to make things work out but even if I cloned myself and somehow sped up the aging process we'd just end up with a bunch of lazy me's.

Or maybe if I spliced my genes with some unlazy spider I would have unlazy spider powers sometimes when I morphed into spider-related woman...

Ah, if only I'd thought ahead ... thought a head?

<< >>