Tonight the tarot cards tell me repeatedly that I'm a bitch and I deserve everything I've got coming.

Clearly but obviously not literally. Although I really do think there should be a "bitch" card.

No matter how many times I shuffle or how many times I try different ways of luring the cards out they keep spelling the same thing just with different cards.

Loss. Failure. Apathy. Indecision.

These are the major themes and although realistically I know it's mostly because they're all I'm capable of seeing right now, instincts go on to argue that it's all I can see because that's all there is.

Which isn't true, I know, that's just my penchant for melodrama/disease-prone personality kicking in... I'll wake up tomorrow and things will, could so easily, be different...

The cards speak of the loss surrounding the past and future, and of me being so incapacitated by it all, and of more bad going down.

If I could change the middle part the rest wouldn't be set. That alone is a great reason to move and yet I'm not.

Reasons to move, reasons to move... if someone could hop up behind me and lure me somewhere by dangling a stick with chocolate attached on the end right about now that'd be great.

See this is normally the part where I'd finish by saying "I'm waiting," but I'm not. Tomorrow will be different. I'll get me that reason, I'll get me...

Fork through the heart pain again, that's really rather odd. Hopefully not at all meaningful. Though it would be funny if after all this tomorrow I woke up dead.

Well, not funny haha.

Well, maybe a little.

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