People have been telling me off for my posture a lot lately. Usually it's just my friends, but in the recent weeks it has now come to include all my immediate family - including my sister-in-law and my mother.

"Why are you stooping for heaven's sakes, that looks awful?!"

"Why are you always hunched over like that, it looks really bad!!"

Unfortunately could not figure out the right words to explain that when I stand up straight, I look like an emu who happens to be a prosititute.

I'm not going to explain that any further, sorry.

I feel the need to ask "How are you?" to whoever is reading this now. Because I suddenly feel bad over the idea that someone may be reading this stuff all about me and I have no idea who/how they are. So go leave me a note, dagnabbit...

Went formal shopping with sister-in-law yesterday, which went okay. I must have tried on at least twenty garments of clothing in the space of about 3 hours.

I found out something that I have been doing practically forever I've been doing wrong. Has that ever happened to you? It's a rather disturbing feeling.

As it turns out, I don't know how to shop ...

Okay that's probably not that big of a revelation. In fact my friends are probably pointing and laughing at this now "Heh, ye-ah, we always knew that..."

Because when I go shopping, I only try on what I like the looks of on the rack. I only try on clothes that I like the style of. While it turns out that what I actually should be doing is trying on clothes that like the style of me.

Does that make any sense? What I'm saying is that my sis-in-law made me try on allllll these dresses, and some she would hand to me and I'd be like "...nah," because they were orange or pink or had freaky cuts or whatever. But just because I didn't like the dresses didn't mean the dresses didn't like me. Like this one orange/pink flamenco dancer-y kind of dress that looked kinda gross on the rack looked pretty good on me.

I hope that those of you reading will learn from my lesson, and go forth to shop much and be merry.

I tried to use this non-frizz stuff in my hair today. It turns out I'm hair dryer illiterate. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to dry my hair while also combing it and stretching my hair. I mean come on, even on a good day I could struggle with doing only one of those things.

As a result I currently look like a poodle who's having a major identity crisis.

Meanwhile, would anyone like to trade any "brains" I may have for the ability to use a blow dryer?

I'd sell my soul for the ability to use a hair dryer... and hair related products ... at the same time if necessary.

...

Just where is the devil when you need him, anyway? Probably off somewhere doing an infomercial, knowing today's society ...

"That's right, Jim! For the very small price of your soul, you can everything you've ever wanted, for free! And if you call now, you'll recieve our bonus "soul back"* deal! You'll even recieve our eternal guarantee, just imagine how much that's worth!"

*All souls are unreturnable, but our guarantees are eternal. All souls remain property of Devil Inc.; all extra parts to deal sold seperately.

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