2004-05-13 - 12:49 a.m.
Yo yo, sup sup.
Alright, I'm out of double expressions and my computer is making strange noises in anger ... or else it's gas.
Today was not a good day to be in the brain of me, very quiet outside but a lot of feuding and clutter indoors, and yeah, badness.
I'm so wrong at everything, and I'm not... not getting any righter. I half expected people from highschool to apparate from the past and tell me to stop being the same idiot.
Am I just the same? I have new thoughts and the occasional new experience but they don't change me. I sit in classes that should be stimulating but I can't feel it. Numb from the brain down.
Why do I have to make everything so hard? Why can't I look at things as challenges... think positively... probably because ultimately, I don't believe in me. I need a self-atheist support group. Only theism isn't exactly involved, so let's pretend the meaning of the word has evolved to fit my needs and not that I'm just being terribly self-indulgent, because obviously, I'm already doing that anyway.
I hate people who use non entirely legitimate excuses to reason away why they can't something. But I read this thing in psych the other day and I can write it below without being hypocritical because, hahaha, I already hate me.
Predictors of distress in caregivers providing home care.
High distress associated with:
relational deprivation (e.g. loss of togetherness), female caregiver, lower practice of healthy behaviours for self, high patient care needs, pessimistic expectation.
I've been listening to the sombre voices of fiona apple, sarah mclachlan... eating excessive amounts of chocolate... and trying to sleep everything away.
It's not working very well yet but I'll be okay by tomorrow or the weekend or maybe some point next month.
I blame May... it's freaking cold! My brain is starved of sunshine.
Alright, I'm out of double expressions and my computer is making strange noises in anger ... or else it's gas.
Today was not a good day to be in the brain of me, very quiet outside but a lot of feuding and clutter indoors, and yeah, badness.
I'm so wrong at everything, and I'm not... not getting any righter. I half expected people from highschool to apparate from the past and tell me to stop being the same idiot.
Am I just the same? I have new thoughts and the occasional new experience but they don't change me. I sit in classes that should be stimulating but I can't feel it. Numb from the brain down.
Why do I have to make everything so hard? Why can't I look at things as challenges... think positively... probably because ultimately, I don't believe in me. I need a self-atheist support group. Only theism isn't exactly involved, so let's pretend the meaning of the word has evolved to fit my needs and not that I'm just being terribly self-indulgent, because obviously, I'm already doing that anyway.
I hate people who use non entirely legitimate excuses to reason away why they can't something. But I read this thing in psych the other day and I can write it below without being hypocritical because, hahaha, I already hate me.
Predictors of distress in caregivers providing home care.
High distress associated with:
relational deprivation (e.g. loss of togetherness), female caregiver, lower practice of healthy behaviours for self, high patient care needs, pessimistic expectation.
I've been listening to the sombre voices of fiona apple, sarah mclachlan... eating excessive amounts of chocolate... and trying to sleep everything away.
It's not working very well yet but I'll be okay by tomorrow or the weekend or maybe some point next month.
I blame May... it's freaking cold! My brain is starved of sunshine.
