dreaming.... skip this it's of noninterest
2003-05-10 - 12:08 p.m.

Loathe to be awake, though I only got up an hour ago, saturday mornings, dont'cha love 'em...

I was having one of my wonderfully long and detailed crazy dreams, involving a made up boy called Nick who was cute and sweet and liked me and gave me a ride home and later spoke Croatian to my mother. Not Mr Perfect but easily Mr Very Good Enough.

None of the guys I like are real. Either I make them up in my subconscious or I make them up consciously, either way, there's no good there.

Oh yes and the pattern of abuse thingy noted in previous dreams was also minorly present. When he offered me a lift I remember thinking I didn't know him at all except seeing him around a few times, and that it was highly likely that he was just going to rape and or murder me. But I didn't care, I just got in the car.

Yeeah. After that I realised I had been walking barefoot and absolutely insisted I go back and get my shoes before I went with him. He tried to argue me out of it, and offered me $50 if I would just leave the shoes behind and go with him then. I refused and went and got the shoes, but he waited for me.

I was going to ask for an analysis of that but if you take the shoes as representing my emotional baggage, it's all pretty clear.

I know, only interesting to me, I'll stop now.


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