apathy dance ... or lack of dance due to apathy
2003-10-25 - 8:30 p.m.

I am annoyingly full of sentimental sap for someone so self-purportedly cynical.

Now that we've got the introspection and alliteration outta the way...

I've been a big time idiot the past week. If there was an Institute for the Study of Idiots and their Idiotic Ways (ISIIW), a number of researchers at their secret headquarters would have been killed when a scale measuring idiocy seemed to spontaneously combust, and that would have been courtesy of me and my idiotic week.

I need one of those books, an idiot's guide on how not to be an idiot... written for an idiot and not by one, obviously.

Do you remember, you being those who studied english in year 12 in or around '01, studying the module of change? Did anyone actually get anything tangible out of that? Like a nice little formula on how to become different?

I am in need of a personality upgrade, if not complete overhaul, only I have no idea how of getting this done. I half hope to find a button on my back saying "to change, press here". Only I probably would never be happy to settle and press it until it didn't work anymore ... at which point I'd be stuck, probably in the form of a human tomato or some such.

I want a Babs v5.0 ... v4.0 wasn't so bad, she crashed a few times but ran better than the older systems, though she still isn't good enough to go anywhere I'd want to go.

I want to form an organisation whose sole purpose is to distribute brownies to single people on Valentine's Day.

I want to be the kind of person who gets up in the morning and jogs every day. And enjoys it.

I want to not act like a bitch to complete strangers just because I have nothing to say or am being overly shy.

I want to be able to juggle a home life and a life life and a uni life and a work life and a love life, not that I even really have any of them currently at all, I suck at juggling despite being a clown.

Rah rah rah. More introspection than I would have liked, introspection to me involves looking in and knowing it's a mess and you should clean but not knowing why you aren't or can't.

You know I'm just procrastinating.


<< >>