2004-08-16 - 1:44 a.m.
Oh-kay. I am writing a diary entry. What am I writing a diary entry on?? Prizes to anyone who can figure it out, because damned if I know.
Life, it's been happening. You know the pattern -- up, down, and around and around, and sideways and zig zag and repeat, repeat, freaking repeat.
It's a bit like an sbs movie, in that I am utterly confused by the plot turns and lack thereof, but I still want to see where it's going.
I have this sinking feeling it's not actually going though, and that it's just going to have one of those abrupt unresoluted endings, which will leave me going "That was a life? No way. What just happened?"
Girl needs to get out more, me thinks. Do you know I haven't been out-out nigh on 2 weeks? That is WRONG. No wonder I'm borderline psychopathic.
On Friday the 13th I had a bit of a psychotic episode. I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed, and so I didn't. I just stayed there, mulling. When this one called me she was presented with a complete basketcase, as I alternated between crying hysterically and laughing hysterically.
I can't even remember much of that conversation, except for repeatedly muttering "I can't... I just can't..."
I have been unable to even surmise what that spectacular breakdown was all about, and am forced to make the logical conclusion. Obviously, I was possessed by depressed lethargic hyenas.
I should probably go back to the counsellor to report the incident, but. I can't bring myself to do it! I like someone thinking I'm not crazy and other such good things.
Besides, I don't altogether mind collapsing at random intervals. Especially if it means I can fulfil some defintion of fine the rest of the time.
Though on the other hand, if I were a computer program I would have already been discarded in favour of an updated version. Babs v9.0! She's lurking out there somewhere, I'm just not sure I'll like her.
In the meantime, I go bedwards, and then maybe we'll see.
Life, it's been happening. You know the pattern -- up, down, and around and around, and sideways and zig zag and repeat, repeat, freaking repeat.
It's a bit like an sbs movie, in that I am utterly confused by the plot turns and lack thereof, but I still want to see where it's going.
I have this sinking feeling it's not actually going though, and that it's just going to have one of those abrupt unresoluted endings, which will leave me going "That was a life? No way. What just happened?"
Girl needs to get out more, me thinks. Do you know I haven't been out-out nigh on 2 weeks? That is WRONG. No wonder I'm borderline psychopathic.
On Friday the 13th I had a bit of a psychotic episode. I couldn't find a reason to get out of bed, and so I didn't. I just stayed there, mulling. When this one called me she was presented with a complete basketcase, as I alternated between crying hysterically and laughing hysterically.
I can't even remember much of that conversation, except for repeatedly muttering "I can't... I just can't..."
I have been unable to even surmise what that spectacular breakdown was all about, and am forced to make the logical conclusion. Obviously, I was possessed by depressed lethargic hyenas.
I should probably go back to the counsellor to report the incident, but. I can't bring myself to do it! I like someone thinking I'm not crazy and other such good things.
Besides, I don't altogether mind collapsing at random intervals. Especially if it means I can fulfil some defintion of fine the rest of the time.
Though on the other hand, if I were a computer program I would have already been discarded in favour of an updated version. Babs v9.0! She's lurking out there somewhere, I'm just not sure I'll like her.
In the meantime, I go bedwards, and then maybe we'll see.
