2003-01-19 - 6:50 p.m.
I am a boring boring person. This is the third attempt at writing a diary entry, but I have nothing to say, again again again.
It makes for an edgy nervous feeling as if any moment now a window will pop onto my screen and a voice claiming to be Andrew creator of D-land will say "GET OUT OF THIS PLACE, WE DON'T NEED YOUR BORING KIND HERE," and I will hang my head and click away in shame...
Um.... poke!
It happened again. What is it with me and all the guys I 'like' evaporating and ceasing to exist in my world? It's like they were informed of the potential liking before it even came to pass and then quickly whisked themselves away somewhere far from me, into a protection-from-babs type program... Maybe they're all hiding out somewhere together, partying because they're part of the "argh! Babs-nearly/kinda/sorta/really-liked-me" club.
Well, better that than the "Hey-babs-liked-us-ew-let's-now-all-be-gay-together" club. Ooooh, scary...
And then I of course have to seriously question whether they existed in the first place, because there's always little tangible evidence to back it up, and if I conclude they didn't then I have to wonder whether I am really here ranting about these people who don't exist... Because it's far more likely that if they don't exist then maybe I'm not existing here in this little diary space either, maybe I'm somewhere else entirely and I just think I'm tapping away here...
Which leads to the semi-grandiose conclusion that if they're not here and I'm not here here, I might not be anywhere at all, I might be some tiny little thinking speck of dust out there in the universe making up an entire life for herself as a human being.
Thankfully argument is invalidated by the whole fact that I could throw up things more creative then the life I have 'invented' for myself.
Hurrah! I am a real girl after all. Only, still a very boring one.
It makes for an edgy nervous feeling as if any moment now a window will pop onto my screen and a voice claiming to be Andrew creator of D-land will say "GET OUT OF THIS PLACE, WE DON'T NEED YOUR BORING KIND HERE," and I will hang my head and click away in shame...
Um.... poke!
It happened again. What is it with me and all the guys I 'like' evaporating and ceasing to exist in my world? It's like they were informed of the potential liking before it even came to pass and then quickly whisked themselves away somewhere far from me, into a protection-from-babs type program... Maybe they're all hiding out somewhere together, partying because they're part of the "argh! Babs-nearly/kinda/sorta/really-liked-me" club.
Well, better that than the "Hey-babs-liked-us-ew-let's-now-all-be-gay-together" club. Ooooh, scary...
And then I of course have to seriously question whether they existed in the first place, because there's always little tangible evidence to back it up, and if I conclude they didn't then I have to wonder whether I am really here ranting about these people who don't exist... Because it's far more likely that if they don't exist then maybe I'm not existing here in this little diary space either, maybe I'm somewhere else entirely and I just think I'm tapping away here...
Which leads to the semi-grandiose conclusion that if they're not here and I'm not here here, I might not be anywhere at all, I might be some tiny little thinking speck of dust out there in the universe making up an entire life for herself as a human being.
Thankfully argument is invalidated by the whole fact that I could throw up things more creative then the life I have 'invented' for myself.
Hurrah! I am a real girl after all. Only, still a very boring one.
