always worth it if only to realise not always perfect but somehow deserving of time
2005-03-13 - 11:16 p.m.

Current obsessions: the colours peacock blue & bronze, ricotta, sleeping as much as humanly possible.

I miss community.

That feeling that you're part of something, regardless of what it is and who you're in it with.

It could be an organisation dedicated to the destruction of velcro and velcro related products, or it could be as simple as an environment that induces a bond of shared loathing...

Dland is the poorman's substitute for this. I love my dland like I love my ability to teleport ... or would if I had it, you know. one must dream.

And the internet is great, the way it opens up whole new worlds of human interaction ... connection ... expression ... routes of information, perception, insight ... I thoroughly huzzah it.

Can you feel my but coming?

Wow that sentence was so wrong.

... BUT ... it doesn't replace the real world, doesn't even compare in some ways ... and after years and years of this compulsive need to log on whenever possible, to be online, I've just realised that this wasn't what I wanted to connect to at all.

And that makes me feel lonely.

I have acquaintances and friends and family and strangers and enemies and all manner of entirely satisying relationships, but... I want a group, a circle, a flock, a herd.

I don't know why I want it or where I can find it, and this makes me

(a) sad?
(b) want cake?
(c) want to blow things up?

Leave your answer in the guestbook now, and if you win I'll give you my address so you can send me money. I really need to buy a peacock blue top to

(a) suppress these yearnings?
(b) stop the devil from taking my soul and dancing on it as a form of torture?
(c) distract myself by going "woo... bluuueeee" repeatedly?

If you get it right you can send even more money!

God I need a job.

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