2003-05-21 - 7:08 p.m.
For an explicitly uneventful day in which I generally was not even particularly unhappy, why do I feel like someone's spent it kicking the non pleasant body produced substances out of me?
I think it may have just been too long.
Girl does not miss bus. Girl studies for quiz worth 5% while on bus. Girl does not do so good on quiz.
Girl does word fluency task in tutorial, an activity where they make you list as many words as you can starting with 'c' in the first minute, 'f' in the second minute, and 'l' in the last minute. Of interest but not under observation was some pairs of words that happened next to each other, e.g., "cake" was followed by "cheese", "child" was followed by "choke", and more laughably, "love" was followed by "lame" which was followed by "loser".
Happily, girl scored 59, was one of few people in class to score above 53, a score which put her in the "superior" class of 96th percentile. Unhappily, tutor mentioned that poor scores on such a task indicate Alzheimer's disease. Mentioning of the word I really don't need to be hearing or thinking of right now was akin to being kicked in stomach. Repeatedly.
Girl does another task, digit span task, where you listen to a row of numbers and are forced to recall and write them down after they've stopped being said. Class then stands up as tutor reads numbers back correctly and sits down when they see they've made a mistake. Girl makes a mistake on the row with seven numbers and has to sit where last year she got up to remembering rows of nine numbers and feels stupid.
Then class does reverse digit span task, an extra hard task where you have to remember the numbers and write them down in reverse order (starting with the last heard). Girl is the only one left standing after the hardest 7 number reverse sequence, causing class to go whoa and tutor to say "...fuck!", much to girl's amusement.
Girl has short break before next class and meets up with friend, soon ending up skipping class and bitching about boys while consuming baked goods.
Girl heads on to computers to check out ze diaryland and finds an entry mentioning her in it. Not to mention a boy who obviously thinks she is psychotic and possibly bipolar. Accompanied by an email which made her laugh in some parts (QUOTE I hope that it works out well between you and smart-guy, if that's what you want UNQUOTE) and just frustrated her in others. Girl forgoes replying to another day where she is saner or at least less braindead (a day which admittedly may never come, says girl).
Girl shows up to counselling appointment early and ends up waiting over half an hour because her appointment was strangely not in book. During which time girl wonders if counsellor man is seeing someone who's having a break down and whether girl should just get lost as she is unimportant and her problems are trivial anyway. Girl also ends up sitting on a yellow couch and wondering whether people refer to it as the "happy couch" and wondering why other girls waiting were seeking counselling and feeling like being in the waiting room of counsellors gave her license to act psychotic.
Girl finally sees counsellor after mix up and ends up spending an hour and a half with him, mainly her listening to him speak and going "mmm..." occasionally with girl adding little funny stories/crying quite a bit/attempting sentences and failing at certain intervals.
When girl leaves it is dark and girl feels better but she is not sure if that because counselling was actually good or whether she is just glad it is over.
Counselling is not what she thought it would be, although technically as she did think counselling meant someone waving a wand and something going "poof!" and "here's your solution, bye!!" perhaps she should not be surprised.
After much talk about different ways of getting into psych she feels a little bit better about that, but a little bit worse about how she is going to salvage her marks and a little bit more put through the wringer over mother/family/blah. She also felt a little bit like laughing when counsellor asked her about boys "guys..me... noooooo" and when he actually went nearly so far as to say something like that would be good (for her).
Lack of somethings like that, but I made another appointment and it's been a loooooong day especially with all my being 3rd person for almost whole entry. Byes now.
I think it may have just been too long.
Girl does not miss bus. Girl studies for quiz worth 5% while on bus. Girl does not do so good on quiz.
Girl does word fluency task in tutorial, an activity where they make you list as many words as you can starting with 'c' in the first minute, 'f' in the second minute, and 'l' in the last minute. Of interest but not under observation was some pairs of words that happened next to each other, e.g., "cake" was followed by "cheese", "child" was followed by "choke", and more laughably, "love" was followed by "lame" which was followed by "loser".
Happily, girl scored 59, was one of few people in class to score above 53, a score which put her in the "superior" class of 96th percentile. Unhappily, tutor mentioned that poor scores on such a task indicate Alzheimer's disease. Mentioning of the word I really don't need to be hearing or thinking of right now was akin to being kicked in stomach. Repeatedly.
Girl does another task, digit span task, where you listen to a row of numbers and are forced to recall and write them down after they've stopped being said. Class then stands up as tutor reads numbers back correctly and sits down when they see they've made a mistake. Girl makes a mistake on the row with seven numbers and has to sit where last year she got up to remembering rows of nine numbers and feels stupid.
Then class does reverse digit span task, an extra hard task where you have to remember the numbers and write them down in reverse order (starting with the last heard). Girl is the only one left standing after the hardest 7 number reverse sequence, causing class to go whoa and tutor to say "...fuck!", much to girl's amusement.
Girl has short break before next class and meets up with friend, soon ending up skipping class and bitching about boys while consuming baked goods.
Girl heads on to computers to check out ze diaryland and finds an entry mentioning her in it. Not to mention a boy who obviously thinks she is psychotic and possibly bipolar. Accompanied by an email which made her laugh in some parts (QUOTE I hope that it works out well between you and smart-guy, if that's what you want UNQUOTE) and just frustrated her in others. Girl forgoes replying to another day where she is saner or at least less braindead (a day which admittedly may never come, says girl).
Girl shows up to counselling appointment early and ends up waiting over half an hour because her appointment was strangely not in book. During which time girl wonders if counsellor man is seeing someone who's having a break down and whether girl should just get lost as she is unimportant and her problems are trivial anyway. Girl also ends up sitting on a yellow couch and wondering whether people refer to it as the "happy couch" and wondering why other girls waiting were seeking counselling and feeling like being in the waiting room of counsellors gave her license to act psychotic.
Girl finally sees counsellor after mix up and ends up spending an hour and a half with him, mainly her listening to him speak and going "mmm..." occasionally with girl adding little funny stories/crying quite a bit/attempting sentences and failing at certain intervals.
When girl leaves it is dark and girl feels better but she is not sure if that because counselling was actually good or whether she is just glad it is over.
Counselling is not what she thought it would be, although technically as she did think counselling meant someone waving a wand and something going "poof!" and "here's your solution, bye!!" perhaps she should not be surprised.
After much talk about different ways of getting into psych she feels a little bit better about that, but a little bit worse about how she is going to salvage her marks and a little bit more put through the wringer over mother/family/blah. She also felt a little bit like laughing when counsellor asked her about boys "guys..me... noooooo" and when he actually went nearly so far as to say something like that would be good (for her).
Lack of somethings like that, but I made another appointment and it's been a loooooong day especially with all my being 3rd person for almost whole entry. Byes now.
