2003-10-13 - 5:39 a.m.
Coughing up feeling just for you...
I'm sick, and a brain-dead zombie, and I'm wondering what I'm going to do with the unspecified amount of time given to me in my so-called life and drawing a serious blank.
I could make cookies, but that would only take an hour or two at most and they're really not that much of an achievement once you've eaten them.
I could make cookies that cure cancer. At least it would be a vaguely original, and helpful, and, um, de-cancerisey-liscious.
Of course I lack any kind of scientific knowledge on the cure cancer subject. I'd probably just put in a lot of vanilla essence and hope for the best.
I could write a novel, but it would just be a criminal waste of trees.
I could chain myself to a tree, and go on a hunger strike, thus sending an important message... screw the no-carbohydrate diet, the best way to lose weight is to go back to nature, or more accurately, tie yourself to it.
No, wait, that doesn't sound right. Plus I see me chaining myself to one of the shrubs in my garden and later just absent-mindedly walking off and breaking the poor thing.
So no hunger strikes. How about a happy strike? I wouldn't mind leading one through the city, waving signs like "You rock!" and just generally being happy all over the place.
But not exactly something I can dedicate my life to, really, especially when half the time I would prefer to be in the cynical and bitter "people suck, I hope you all die" parade.
I wouldn't be having this problem if the whole animal rights/human welfare/fights against hunger/AIDS/war/teen suicide scenes weren't so overdone. I like charities, I really do, I even support two somehow despite having no actual income, but if I was going to start my own it would have to be something one-of-a-kind. Not something you could go to a centillion different organisations to support/fight.
Let's see. Children in America and Australia and many developed nations are overly fat, supposedly, but I don't see how that would work as a charity unless their parents would pay me not to feed them, which I could totally do. But that would probably bring one of the human welfare agencies down on me.
I wouldn't mind having some form of superagency, where rich benefactors would walk in demanding to know what we fight for and I'd respond with "You name it, we're against it buddy!"
Better yet, some kind of anti-uneven-distribution-of-wealth Robin Hood organisation where our operatives quietly screw over the rich and we loudly redistribute funds to the poor. Our slogan could be "Damn those rich bastards!", catchy, yes?
Oh, wait, I know exactly what I want. Screw the charity thing (I'm sure someone else will take care of it), I want to have my own spy network!
I would be the spy master and the web would be all intricate and cool and no one would be really sure of who I was and people would think I was a guy. I'd be someone "in the know" which would make a super pleasant change to being in the vague.
I think I need to go work for ASIO. Or move to America and do the FBI thing, since they have cooler (but then, also less secret) status.
But what qualifications does someone need to work for these agencies? I have visions of me rocking up and saying "Hi, I'd like a job, please," and them asking about my qualifications and me smiling and saying "Hi, I'd like a job, please,"
It, like probably every utterance I ever have and ever will concoct, has a rather dire need of more actual thought.
Dear People With Talent,
Or Ambition,
Or Passion,
I really, really hate you for having comparatively little struggle with the "what to do with my life?" question. But also, I love and admire you and want to be one of you. But I never can be, so consequently hate you some more. Hey, think I could maybe marry one of you and become talented by proxy? I'd cook for you and clean for you and be pretty for you and learn to darn socks if necessary. Think about it.
Yours hatingly,
Babs xxx
I'm sick, and a brain-dead zombie, and I'm wondering what I'm going to do with the unspecified amount of time given to me in my so-called life and drawing a serious blank.
I could make cookies, but that would only take an hour or two at most and they're really not that much of an achievement once you've eaten them.
I could make cookies that cure cancer. At least it would be a vaguely original, and helpful, and, um, de-cancerisey-liscious.
Of course I lack any kind of scientific knowledge on the cure cancer subject. I'd probably just put in a lot of vanilla essence and hope for the best.
I could write a novel, but it would just be a criminal waste of trees.
I could chain myself to a tree, and go on a hunger strike, thus sending an important message... screw the no-carbohydrate diet, the best way to lose weight is to go back to nature, or more accurately, tie yourself to it.
No, wait, that doesn't sound right. Plus I see me chaining myself to one of the shrubs in my garden and later just absent-mindedly walking off and breaking the poor thing.
So no hunger strikes. How about a happy strike? I wouldn't mind leading one through the city, waving signs like "You rock!" and just generally being happy all over the place.
But not exactly something I can dedicate my life to, really, especially when half the time I would prefer to be in the cynical and bitter "people suck, I hope you all die" parade.
I wouldn't be having this problem if the whole animal rights/human welfare/fights against hunger/AIDS/war/teen suicide scenes weren't so overdone. I like charities, I really do, I even support two somehow despite having no actual income, but if I was going to start my own it would have to be something one-of-a-kind. Not something you could go to a centillion different organisations to support/fight.
Let's see. Children in America and Australia and many developed nations are overly fat, supposedly, but I don't see how that would work as a charity unless their parents would pay me not to feed them, which I could totally do. But that would probably bring one of the human welfare agencies down on me.
I wouldn't mind having some form of superagency, where rich benefactors would walk in demanding to know what we fight for and I'd respond with "You name it, we're against it buddy!"
Better yet, some kind of anti-uneven-distribution-of-wealth Robin Hood organisation where our operatives quietly screw over the rich and we loudly redistribute funds to the poor. Our slogan could be "Damn those rich bastards!", catchy, yes?
Oh, wait, I know exactly what I want. Screw the charity thing (I'm sure someone else will take care of it), I want to have my own spy network!
I would be the spy master and the web would be all intricate and cool and no one would be really sure of who I was and people would think I was a guy. I'd be someone "in the know" which would make a super pleasant change to being in the vague.
I think I need to go work for ASIO. Or move to America and do the FBI thing, since they have cooler (but then, also less secret) status.
But what qualifications does someone need to work for these agencies? I have visions of me rocking up and saying "Hi, I'd like a job, please," and them asking about my qualifications and me smiling and saying "Hi, I'd like a job, please,"
It, like probably every utterance I ever have and ever will concoct, has a rather dire need of more actual thought.
Dear People With Talent,
Or Ambition,
Or Passion,
I really, really hate you for having comparatively little struggle with the "what to do with my life?" question. But also, I love and admire you and want to be one of you. But I never can be, so consequently hate you some more. Hey, think I could maybe marry one of you and become talented by proxy? I'd cook for you and clean for you and be pretty for you and learn to darn socks if necessary. Think about it.
Yours hatingly,
Babs xxx
