2004-05-20 - 8:05 a.m.
I am in that familiar hall - the death throes of the battle against procrastination. One of us must meet our doom now and I get the uneasy feeling it's me.
She follows me round like a spurned lover.
My brain has been forced to simmer for the past week and so of course nothing is left but a drippy mess. And I feel bad about being so deficient but that doen't make me work, doesn't bring me to care. This seems to be the underlying theme of my life.
I've been thinking about people in the past this last week. Even while I'm sleeping. I woke up feeling very disturbed.
If I have to think one more linguistic concept, I will scream, but of course I have to, I have to give birth to another 1000 words on it, but I just don't have it in me, too many abortions in the past.
I simultaneously miss and hate English. And wonder where the simple math went.
I can't do any more and yet I couldn't do less. That's ambiguous isn't it. Stupid open to interpretation -- who needs it; be concrete for once!
Work makes me so crazy, I just want to cuddle up to nothingness.
She follows me round like a spurned lover.
My brain has been forced to simmer for the past week and so of course nothing is left but a drippy mess. And I feel bad about being so deficient but that doen't make me work, doesn't bring me to care. This seems to be the underlying theme of my life.
I've been thinking about people in the past this last week. Even while I'm sleeping. I woke up feeling very disturbed.
If I have to think one more linguistic concept, I will scream, but of course I have to, I have to give birth to another 1000 words on it, but I just don't have it in me, too many abortions in the past.
I simultaneously miss and hate English. And wonder where the simple math went.
I can't do any more and yet I couldn't do less. That's ambiguous isn't it. Stupid open to interpretation -- who needs it; be concrete for once!
Work makes me so crazy, I just want to cuddle up to nothingness.
