this life is more than just a read through
2002-11-26 - 4:03 p.m.

Not to be an annoying repetitive cow who is so unoriginal that she uses the same opening line in consecutive entries, but...

So. Hunh.

This morning I got was up, pleased to have sort of done the essay and I killed three hours of my must-stay-awaaaaaake time watching early morning tv.

1. Children's cartoons are so lame, I love them!

2. Sesame Street still rocks hardcore... heheheh.

3. Is it just me or is Aerobics Ozstyle just a show with no exercise-y value just meant to allow males to perve on women stretching? because ... yeah.

At nine I went in to uni to hand in a physical copy of my essay draft (I emailed lecturer guy with a copy but was worried about it not making it somehow). I strutted in shakily and started to fill out the form cover sheet thingy for my course and then, then my lecturer walked by me.

He smiled.

I smiled.

He walked on. I was like phew, I'm not good at handling conversation on a good day.

But of course he returned. And I was like, eep, he can probably see the form for his course in my hand anyway so I said hi. And then I started to hand him my essay going "Look, done!" and he went okay just write your name on it and pass it back to me in my office and he started to go back to his office ... then he did a double take and went "Wait, you're not, Barbara are you?"

That was the cue for some nodding intermixed with some head hanging in shame.

He sat down and we talked. Well, he talked, and I occasionally said words to help conversation along.

He asked why and I concurred with bad, bad, growing out of control habit. He did a mini lecture-esque spiel, not in the way that he lectured me, but in the way that he was all full of the soca passion and started talking to me about enthusiasm and panic and...

Evidently the emailed essay draft had already reached him and been marked. He seemed kind of impressed with the standard of work I achieved... he may have said it was excellent, of course this was tempered with "if only it had been handed in a month ago" (when it was actually due).

Cue my half forlorn, half unregretful yeah's...

And then he said something which shocked me so much that I have since rethought what was said and am convinced I somehow misheard.

He said I passed the course.

Cue the utterly confused "I... did?"

Even now sounds too good to be true, and only half believe it. Wait and see on the friday the 13th the marks come out on...

So yes, odd little day. I have only slept for about 40 minutes... but I am totally awake and restless because my thinking track has changed from:

"Oh crap, I can't fail maths because I am so going to fail sociology," to -

"Oh god, I might not fail sociology ... this must mean I failed math!"

Of course there's a slim chance that I failed neither (I could work out the probabilities but since it's binomial and I messed that up on the math exam .. I actually can't) which I am taking far more depressingly than anyone could imagine. You mean on top of everything, I might suck at being an ultimate failure?? How sad. If I'm going to suck, I'd rather suck completely.

Wait and see, I suppose.

I am off to pester wonderfully obedient father into making a donut trip.

'Til the sky next falls...


<< >>