2003-11-18 - 4:16 p.m.
I know I've been saying repeatedly that I've been off lately.
But last night I got myself to the point where it felt like someone had microwaved the remains of my brain.
Mmm, lukewarm brain leftovers, mmmm.
So I went to bed early, at about 3 am. Well, it's early considering I usually turn in at six now.
And you'd think out of sheer relief my body would have passed out immediately. But no. I lay there til 6am, not thinking a single thought.
It didn't feel like I even had a head, which was extraordinarily pleasant.
Exam on friday, and I know, I know, it isn't going to go my way. But I'll worry about it when it's over, there's no point stringing myself up when I don't have the mental resources to do anything about it.
All things considered, I'm pretty happy. I sing & dance in the shower, I make jokes with my mother, and the sun shines and the birds sing and life goes on even while a future slips through my fingers like sand and I have to try to explain to my mother why next year is not 4004.
But last night I got myself to the point where it felt like someone had microwaved the remains of my brain.
Mmm, lukewarm brain leftovers, mmmm.
So I went to bed early, at about 3 am. Well, it's early considering I usually turn in at six now.
And you'd think out of sheer relief my body would have passed out immediately. But no. I lay there til 6am, not thinking a single thought.
It didn't feel like I even had a head, which was extraordinarily pleasant.
Exam on friday, and I know, I know, it isn't going to go my way. But I'll worry about it when it's over, there's no point stringing myself up when I don't have the mental resources to do anything about it.
All things considered, I'm pretty happy. I sing & dance in the shower, I make jokes with my mother, and the sun shines and the birds sing and life goes on even while a future slips through my fingers like sand and I have to try to explain to my mother why next year is not 4004.
