2003-04-08 - 5:12 p.m.
On that skinny little line I'm walking I've fallen on the side of...
a) complete freak?
b) miserable loser?
c) abstainance?
How very right you are for choosing (d), all of the above. Whereas normally by now I'd fall on the side of excess, over eating, over doing things in general, I have tilted significantly to abstainance... do as little work as possible. pay the minimum amount of attention. eat as very little as possible (minus the necessary occasional calorie hit).
Falling back on old habits, those teeny bit anorexic ones (but not that anorexic, I had ice cream, so unrealistic anorexic) ... I'm not sure why, as they don't help things and don't make me feel better. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up and eat properly again.
Or else just continue until I can say to my reflection "Who looks skeletal?? You do!"
Perhaps it is just a coping mechanism, which fits in well with current philosophy "You can't feel like crap if you already feel like crap."
I am smarts I am.
a) complete freak?
b) miserable loser?
c) abstainance?
How very right you are for choosing (d), all of the above. Whereas normally by now I'd fall on the side of excess, over eating, over doing things in general, I have tilted significantly to abstainance... do as little work as possible. pay the minimum amount of attention. eat as very little as possible (minus the necessary occasional calorie hit).
Falling back on old habits, those teeny bit anorexic ones (but not that anorexic, I had ice cream, so unrealistic anorexic) ... I'm not sure why, as they don't help things and don't make me feel better. Perhaps tomorrow I will wake up and eat properly again.
Or else just continue until I can say to my reflection "Who looks skeletal?? You do!"
Perhaps it is just a coping mechanism, which fits in well with current philosophy "You can't feel like crap if you already feel like crap."
I am smarts I am.
