I keep trying to ruin my future accidentally on purpose.

It's really rather heart breaking. Well to me anyway, since it's mine I seem to love violently smashing.

Overdramatising I know, I'm just frustrated because I am the one making it hard for myself.

Today has been a day of panic, hyperventilation, shaking, almost throwing up a few times, but other than that good.

Yeah.

It's like Babs the pure has suddenly woken up to where she is and is terrified. Because Monster-Babs has walked us to the edge and we're peering over, wondering if it's really so far to fall.

if you didn't think I was insane before... yeah. I'm having problems, okay?

I'm allowed.

In other news my mother saw a boy on the bus this afternoon who was so cute she wanted to bring him home to me.

I just thought I'd compound my weirdness by adding that of those around me.

I'm getting by.

Cactus patch, cactus patch.

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