I think I'm having growing pains. My appetite keeps walking away; not the hunger as much as the urge to do something about it - food seems like the most boring thing on the planet. and I can't seem to sleep for more than a few hours at a time. I toss and turn and toss and then suddenly my eyes snap open and stay that way.

Something is keeping me dead awake.

The doorbell just rang. It was a delivery man with a big bouquet of mixed flowers. I didn't even bother to look at him hopefully... there's something sad about that. Disappointment-saving - next door aren't home apparently - but sad.

I feel fifteen years old again. God, I'm even all hearting the new Green Day song.

Actually, I think it might be my song of the year. Not in a way of favourites; I don't think it's particularly profound. It's not even enough to make me buy the album, and in a couple of weeks, when radioland has overplayed it to death, all meaning will have faded into blandness.

But for now it carves chunks out of what this year has been for me. Lays them out in a way that ... lets me see them in context, lets me understand them and even appreciate a little bit, in that stinging-sweet-sad-stinging kinda way. And that lets me sleep at night.

Not that the year is anywhere near over. It's just, the same things keep going round and round, just with different cycle lengths. You start to think nothing will surprise you anymore. You've been there, done that.

Surprise me. I dare you.

And can you.. can you.. make it a good surprise?

Green Day - When September Ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends

Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are

As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when september ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends

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