2003-01-16 - 9:59 p.m.
I'm baaaaaaaack.
And rather disturbed that the last three people who visited and actually stayed for a minute came from unknowns.
I don't like unknowns, they feel like a creepy internet version of ghosts. Even though I can't see you you still affect me. I can't be entirely confident of your presence but it's like I can feel it in my... sitemeter.
So if you are an unknown, do something to liberate yourself from this position and grow a voice box. I promise to still respect you in the morning.
This said, let's move onwards to an even greater total lack of point.
Ummm... worked for a while. It was okay but boreful, though I have to do a work related field trip into the city some time in the future. Boss guy said he paid me but my bank account is currently calling him a liar.
It's weird working around not many guys, I got used to the opposite or something I guess, and now it's just like... hunh, so this is what it's like to not be attracted to a guy, not even be aware he is a guy. He could be a mushroom for all I know/care.
Am not used to having to phone people yet. It still makes me incredibly nervy and my hands shake a bit, but hopefully not noticeably so. I made the checkoutchick transition of learning how to greet strangers without freaking, so I should theoretically be able to handle this after a while, but...
I'm such a xenophobe. Luckily don't really have to face my fears til I quit coles because currently the only time I can work the new job is nights. But still... I can't shake the inherent belief that no matter what I want from someone (especially if I want something from them via a phone) they will yell and, I don't know, abuse me somehow.
I don't know why, I'm starting to wonder if I repressed something as a child. I repressed a lot of stuff, who knows what's back there by now.... my closet is the simpson equivalent of what happened to the house when Marge got sent to jail.
You mean there are people going "ow!" when you walk on the carpet and a 'gator in the toilet and Homer's wearing Marge's wedding dress?
... Yes.
But anyway, I need to get over it, I don't know why I care since once I get to know the person a little my fear evaporates so much that even though I care a little they are treated mentally with vague disinterest... but I don't know, it's harder to unlearn some things then others... like the courses in statistics and soca I did last semester I barely picked up and discarded immediately afterward.
Mmmm. Did I tell you guy at new job also hired someone else from my old school in the year under me? Her name is Lana. I'm happy in a way... I mean that makes the numbers of hours I work smaller (I've gotten over the no money thing, I will survive), and also it gives me the vague idea that maybe we beat other people out for the job, that would be cool, unless we were the only candidates, which would be sad.
Also there would be someone else to blame when stuff happens. And I seem to be getting the more important jobs like having to visit the Office of State Revenue, and later I will be phoning clients on a monthly basis to see how they're feeling about investments and such... maybe I'm just getting them cos I'm a tad older and therefore theoretically more responsible, but it makes me feel kind of snobby, and, what's that word for when birds puff out their chests all proudly and such?
Not in a, displaying cleavage way. You should probably ignore that line. But anyway am torn between feeling huffed up and important and then completely silly because I realise that I don't want to be doing these jobs at all and end up whining quietly "Why can't Lana do them??
I haven't met her yet, I don't know when I will because we won't really be working together, I don't think, there would only be one of us in there at a time... still, don't remember her from high school (read:Hell), I hope she's nice.
The lasagna I just ate is resisting digestion and is trying to escape by digging a direct tunnel out through my belly button. Did I swallow the knife and fork as well? I'd swear it's armed with something, I can just imagine it's little beady lasagna face with a knife in one lasagna hand and a fork in the other, and on his little lasagna head one of those green army caps with the star on the front...
I think someone's dehydrated and I don't think it's Captain Lasagna.
I should go. Work as checkoutchick tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes... of course I will, as if you could escape that. Well, you could, and I urge you to just not click hear, but hey...
The shadows are still here.
And rather disturbed that the last three people who visited and actually stayed for a minute came from unknowns.
I don't like unknowns, they feel like a creepy internet version of ghosts. Even though I can't see you you still affect me. I can't be entirely confident of your presence but it's like I can feel it in my... sitemeter.
So if you are an unknown, do something to liberate yourself from this position and grow a voice box. I promise to still respect you in the morning.
This said, let's move onwards to an even greater total lack of point.
Ummm... worked for a while. It was okay but boreful, though I have to do a work related field trip into the city some time in the future. Boss guy said he paid me but my bank account is currently calling him a liar.
It's weird working around not many guys, I got used to the opposite or something I guess, and now it's just like... hunh, so this is what it's like to not be attracted to a guy, not even be aware he is a guy. He could be a mushroom for all I know/care.
Am not used to having to phone people yet. It still makes me incredibly nervy and my hands shake a bit, but hopefully not noticeably so. I made the checkoutchick transition of learning how to greet strangers without freaking, so I should theoretically be able to handle this after a while, but...
I'm such a xenophobe. Luckily don't really have to face my fears til I quit coles because currently the only time I can work the new job is nights. But still... I can't shake the inherent belief that no matter what I want from someone (especially if I want something from them via a phone) they will yell and, I don't know, abuse me somehow.
I don't know why, I'm starting to wonder if I repressed something as a child. I repressed a lot of stuff, who knows what's back there by now.... my closet is the simpson equivalent of what happened to the house when Marge got sent to jail.
You mean there are people going "ow!" when you walk on the carpet and a 'gator in the toilet and Homer's wearing Marge's wedding dress?
... Yes.
But anyway, I need to get over it, I don't know why I care since once I get to know the person a little my fear evaporates so much that even though I care a little they are treated mentally with vague disinterest... but I don't know, it's harder to unlearn some things then others... like the courses in statistics and soca I did last semester I barely picked up and discarded immediately afterward.
Mmmm. Did I tell you guy at new job also hired someone else from my old school in the year under me? Her name is Lana. I'm happy in a way... I mean that makes the numbers of hours I work smaller (I've gotten over the no money thing, I will survive), and also it gives me the vague idea that maybe we beat other people out for the job, that would be cool, unless we were the only candidates, which would be sad.
Also there would be someone else to blame when stuff happens. And I seem to be getting the more important jobs like having to visit the Office of State Revenue, and later I will be phoning clients on a monthly basis to see how they're feeling about investments and such... maybe I'm just getting them cos I'm a tad older and therefore theoretically more responsible, but it makes me feel kind of snobby, and, what's that word for when birds puff out their chests all proudly and such?
Not in a, displaying cleavage way. You should probably ignore that line. But anyway am torn between feeling huffed up and important and then completely silly because I realise that I don't want to be doing these jobs at all and end up whining quietly "Why can't Lana do them??
I haven't met her yet, I don't know when I will because we won't really be working together, I don't think, there would only be one of us in there at a time... still, don't remember her from high school (read:Hell), I hope she's nice.
The lasagna I just ate is resisting digestion and is trying to escape by digging a direct tunnel out through my belly button. Did I swallow the knife and fork as well? I'd swear it's armed with something, I can just imagine it's little beady lasagna face with a knife in one lasagna hand and a fork in the other, and on his little lasagna head one of those green army caps with the star on the front...
I think someone's dehydrated and I don't think it's Captain Lasagna.
I should go. Work as checkoutchick tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes... of course I will, as if you could escape that. Well, you could, and I urge you to just not click hear, but hey...
The shadows are still here.
