More than any other day it's only, Gravity...
2002-01-05 - 1:41 p.m.

It's a Superjesus musical fest today, I have decided.

Only because Good Charlotte is too energetic, and Garbage is ultimately too specific.

Whereas only the music of the Superjesus is appropriate and obscure enough for current status. I was singing along to it in bed at three this morning, and apparently woke my parents.

... I wasn't singing that loud. Geez. My father is still royally pissed at me, according to my mother. But what else can I say, when sorry is never good enough for them?

They want me to be all discussive about what's going on in my life. But why should I, when all they've ever done before is tell me my problems are nothing, or give uselessly cliched advice.

And I don't want to be dependant on them. I want to get used to not having them involved in my life, so that when they're dead sharing my life with them will not be something I'll miss.

Oh, my. I'm being rather uncharacteristically honest and bleak. Rather depressed last night, semi suicidal. Mood is still lingering in the form of bleakness.

Guess you never really get over things like that. So right now I'm torn between bingeing horribly and eating nothing at all (really need to be back on diet/anorexia thing ... for weight reasons and just because it's fun. What can I say, I'm a masochist.)

Times like these I violently hope that I'm just premenstrual. Which almost makes me laugh, because it's not really something anyone wishes to be. But if I'm just hormonal then it'll all come to nothing and all is good.

I will clean my room today! Well, maybe not. But I figure if I keep telling myself that, it just may happen.

That's what I am tending to believe about every other aspect of my life, it seems... Blah blah blah. Stop boring everyone, Babs...


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