Hold me and control me and you'll melt me slowly down
2004-06-24 - 12:14 a.m.

I should warn you, this may be a breast-related entry.

Boobs! Jugs! Uh... I don't have any other slang terms

Who do you think is probably more attractive in human form, lucifer or jesus?

Yeah, don't worry, that wasn't related to boobs.

See, I was in church earlier, and before you pause to wonder what the heck I was doing there, I can honestly tell you I was checking out every male between the ages of 5 and 50.

I'm a perve, a stalking peeping doubting tom(ass ... hehe, I said ass) who is sooooo going to hell where I will hopefully get to check out just how good looking satan actually is.

This question came up because in church I saw a blonde guy with a hot haircut and when he turned around and I saw his beard I was all like "Ohmygod! It's jesus! and he's hot!!" and then later I saw a guy with black hair, all greasy and gelled down and intellectualish glasses and whatchamacallit, a soul patch (?) you know the little bit of hair on the chin thingy... anyway I just looked at him and thought SATIN... and then I wondered why my thoughts had gone dyslexic and hoped that it wasn't freudian, ohgod, trust me to find a gross satan more attractive than hot jesus.

So we come to the question... who do you think would be more hot? who would you rather sleep with? You know jesus would be all righteous about it later. And you wouldn't want to get impreganted with his second coming...(ewwww, I didn't intend to pun there!) ... or with lucifer's devil spawn for that matter. Come on, pick one! I totally need to know.

I was pondering this and other such life altering matters while I leaned against a wall for an hour and a half in an overcrowded church. Why was I there? Had I finally seen the light?? Well, if it was from the overhanging light fixtures, then technically yes.

But no, it was my niece's confirmation, which was thoroughly disturbing on so many levels... okay, only two. (1) I'm old! I remember her being her little cousin's age at MY confirmation, it honestly doesn't seem that long ago... feels 4 years back, but it was really 9. time's like that. (2) SHE HAS BOOBS! a little. I swear she did NOT have those the last time I saw her. She SHOULD NOT have those! There should be an age limit on those kind of things, I can't help thinking of all the things that go along or follow after them and just.... argh! she's 10! freaking argh.

If I ever have a kid I may end up killing it before it gets to that point. I know they call it blossoming but it's just such an inappropriate characterisation. There's a certain weed-iness along with unhealthy doses of pesticide involved. I still can't stomach that process....

I should go to my bed, I haven't seen it since 9pm last night; I've been up for 28 hours with a 3hr nap squeezed in the middle. Oh yeah! I had a stats exam this morning, and lo, it was bad. I cross my fingers hoping the gods see fit to grant me a pass.

Though they may spite me for not calling them hot before. To whoever's relevant, you know you're the most attractive god ever and I totally want to have your babies. But please don't take that literally.

You know what I just realised?? You can't spell "hot" without a "ho"... okay I need sleep.



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