in honour...
2003-04-27 - 2:25 p.m.

In honour of me only having done 250 words of a 2000 word essay due in just over 24 hours, I will now post up my infamous soca essay, the one I handed in a draft of a month late 500 words short of target length worth 30% which got me to pass the course EVEN THOUGH I hadn't handed in another 20% and the 50% I had handed in were incredibly shonky.

So, please enjoy, or rather, don't, because that would make you a big freak.

SOCA1004 ESSAY DRAFT ---- EVERYDAY EXPERIENCE: GRACE

I creep into the house, careful not to tread on certain floorboards which would reveal my presence. The night is dark except for a touch of moonlight, indistinguishable from so many others; just another night after a long, winding day. I am home but the household sleeps, making the space around me feel infinite and yet somehow still in my possession as if the barriers between space and time have evaporated leaving only myself. Though everything around me is empty and perfectly still, the space surrounding me feels more harmonious than ever, as if there is some sort of quiet music about it; only in the silence of night do the surroundings tend to really feel alive, in the darkness in seems easier to perceive movement and consequently life where in the daylight we assumed there to be none. It is only in this kind of night during all too familiar bedtime rituals that I can momentarily reach a state resembling gracefulness.

In the Macquarie Dictionary, grace is defined as elegance of beauty or form, manner, motion, or act. However this is too simple an definition, it does not emphasise enough the harmony and consequent poetry involved within a graceful act. Grace is generally found embedded in some motion performed so unselfconsciously and in such synchronisation with the surroundings that the results are startlingly beautiful. Grace has a finite presence in time, while it occurs time is simply not an issue and yet sometimes grace will only appear for a mere moment before vanishing, leaving onlookers with an even greater appreciation of its beauty. Grace is an abstract notion generally restricted to human beings, although theoretically grace could be attributed to anything in an environment which constitutes some form of visual poetry (plastic bag in American Beauty?). Grace has a localised presence and may exist within one person and yet is still an entity within itself, able to present itself in a group of people simultaneously. An example of this would be a certain given moment within a sporting event, and yet something as small as the manner in which someone runs their pen across their page may be considered equally as graceful. Like the beauty evident within a graceful act, grace itself is also in the eye of the beholder to a certain extent, meaning that it is up to the individual to discern or decide where grace exists. This is why I am free to observe that the only graceful acts which occur within my life occur once darkness has fallen and all the people who would normally inhibit me from attaining such a state are fast asleep. It is only when I am free to drop inhibitions such as a heightened sense of awareness of self and others, and the barriers which separate reality from the world I perceive to exist, that I am free to cease all unnecessary mental processes and become fully in tune with my surroundings, and consequently attain a momentarily graceful state. The actions I refer to are those of bedtime rituals. Although the task of getting ready for sleep might be considered as tedious at best by some, I take pleasure in it partially because it signifies the closure of another day, and it is this fact which causes a sense of ease with myself. This ease combined with the ease with the world from the knowledge that in any given moment many are peacefully asleep allows me to free myself of inhibitions which induces the quality of grace.

The brushing of my hair is one bedtime ritual among many. The strokes are even, gentle, and are carried out without needing to spare even a thought to the act. The actions being so natural in themselves and within the environment that I too become natural, inseparable from the act itself, and therefore we are mediated by a sense of grace. I tie my hair up with the quick twist of an elastic, a movement made flowing and simple through so much pure repetition. If the day has been longer than usual my eyes might show the increased weariness but my body itself does not move through the rituals with a slower pace, instead maintaining steadiness from the familiarity of the task; this implies that, given the philosophical notion that the eyes are considered the windows to the soul, within this ritual of mine there is some disconnection between mind and body. We will return to the issue of the nature of this disconnection, but for now it is important to note that it can only be purely beneficial otherwise I would not be able to find joy in such a state. But how can the repetition which underlies any such ritual be treated with an emotion so far from the disdain normally reserved for some repetitive tasks? Rather than finding it tiresome the repetition in this case actually enforces a comforting sense of familiarity which allows me to view the tasks as a chance to pause and consciously inhale or exhale, depending on exactly what kind of day has passed. So that as my body engages in preparing for sleep by, for instance, removing my eyeliner the act itself becomes not only a physical cleansing but a mental one also. The mind and body achieve the same result of catharsis dependently through their relationship with each other, and yet through the ritualistic process their connection becomes indirect. The meaning of this is that it is during such a ritual, where the source of inhibitions is somewhat disconnected from the body, the body is unhindered from reaching a state of gracefulness. Grace however is not necessarily wholly intertwined with ritualistic processes, and its finite presence means that the smallest change within the environment may upset its existence. Even though grace certainly has a place within rituals, its existence may still be momentary; however as observed previously it is this fact which will magnify an experience of grace as those who observe or experience it will relish it all the more. Although we have differentiated between those who observe and those who experience grace, it is not necessarily accurate to do so; indeed grace is a shared experience meaning that those who observe it also experience it, and theoretically at least the opposite case may also be true.

H. Fingarette discusses the apparent existence of magic within any ritual performed correctly and sincerely in "Confucius - The Secular as Sacred" (Harper & Row, New York, 1972). This idea is highly relevant to our current discussion, as grace may easily be accepted as a form of magic in itself, and the acts which constitute 'rituals' may be entirely secular within an everyday context. Meaning that, any repetitive act may be considered a ritual to the person who undertakes it as long as it is performed appropriately. This helps to explain why I may observe grace in so simple an act such as pre-sleep rituals, and underlies the principle that grace is a personal and individual matter. The notion that the rituals must be performed sincerely is a condition which begins to explain what constitutes the border between a repetitive task which is devoid of meaning and one which isn't; one which might exhibit a magical quality of grace and one which is too mechanical to allow grace to exist.

"... By 'magic' I mean the power of a specific person to accomplish his will directly and effortlessly through ritual, gesture, and incantation..." (p3). This sentence is in it's essence an eloquent and definite statement which is more enlightening on the general nature of graceful experience than anything encountered thus far. It can be taken to observe grace as a phenomena in which a person sets out to do something and does it by utilising certain practices which ensure exactly the right amount of awareness so the goal is not over thought or not thought through enough; which prevents such inhibitions from interfering with attaining a goal. Consequent accomplishment of a goal, someone achieving something they set out to do, is of course viewed as a beautiful, harmonious, inherently graceful event. Undoubtedly many examples of graceful acts will come to mind which fit perfectly with such a definition of grace, think perhaps of the amazing shot you had hoped to make in a pool game and the grace which allowed you to achieve it, or the feeling of the tennis player who wants to make a game-winning shot and does. Certainly, it is clear that in general this definition appears to be a remarkably apt in pining down the abstract notion of grace, although there are definitely numerous instances of graceful experience which just do not quite ring true when compared with the above. Think of the girl that gracefully passes by on the street, for example; her grace cannot be denied and yet it is obvious that it has not been achieved by her will, it is not like her grace is resulting from a goal being achieved. This might be indicative of a different type of grace altogether also requiring a different definition, perhaps something like an incidental, more spontaneous form of grace. How then does the main example under consideration fit into these ideas of grace? Does the notion of grace arising from before bedtime habits make sense with the general nature of grace observed above? Certainly it seems that, like the idea of a girl gracefully passing by on the street, the notion of grace existing in pre-sleep rituals does not quite compute with the effortless goal achievement theory. Although there are certainly rituals involved, the resulting grace may still be considered as somewhat incidental as it is difficult to infer that the ritual is goal-directed. There are obviously things which occur as a result of the ritual, namely the shedding of inhibitions and consequently purification, but it is not necessarily wise to presume that these are the goals of the ritual. Upon deciphering that there are examples of grace that do not quite fit with the above statement, should that be compelling evidence to dismiss ill-fitting examples as not being grace at all? Or do the ramifications merely imply that a more specialized account of the causes of grace is required? It is difficult to decide between these alternatives, however eventually the idea of some examples not being demonstrative of grace at all must be discarded. Although it may be a troublesome task finding a definition for grace which is inclusive of all the circumstances in which grace may arise, that does not prevent anyone from knowing a graceful event. That is, even though the causes and exact nature of grace might remain a mystery of everyday life for always, people will still possess the ability to identify something which is graceful.

"...The magical element always involves great effects produced effortlessly, marvelously, with an irresistible power that is itself intangible, invisible, unmanifest..." (p4). Although the exact causes of grace have not yet been uncovered, this comment provides further insight on the nature of grace. As observed in the comment as well as in the night-time rituals mentioned above, the magic of grace is definitely an entity within itself with its own force. Although it cannot directly be perceived through any of our normal senses such as vision and touch, it is there nonetheless and its presence is obviously only really observable with the mind. As to the great effects mentioned, this is interesting in itself as it directly relates to the purification which may be achieved through pre-sleep rituals; as this effect has not necessarily been produced intentionally this may easily be equated to being effortless, and the beneficial nature noted earlier makes it similarly easy to consider the effect of cleansing as positive, marvelous. Hence the fact that there is a definite relationship between the effortless effects of a normally secular ritual and the gracefulness which ensues is more clear than ever.

"...Furthermore, to act by ceremony is to be completely open to the other; for ceremony is public, shared, transparent; to act otherwise is to be secret, obscure, and devious, or merely tyrannically coercive. It is in this beautiful and dignified, shared and open participation with others who are ultimately like oneself that man realizes himself..." (p16). At first glance, the idea that the ritual and resulting grace is a public experience seems foreign, as it is conceivable that grace does not necessarily occur within the public eye. In fact, the idea of grace resulting from pre-sleep habits does not seem compatible with this model at all; giving rise to the question of whether grace could really occur in merely the presence of oneself. It is certainly arguable that yes, grace may sometimes be an individual experience, but perhaps it is better if more attention is turned to the shared aspect of the ceremony. Even though the experiences of ritual/grace itself might not be literally shared with others, that does not necessarily lessen the sense of openness involved. In the particular case of pre-sleep rituals, inhibitions were somewhat based on being unable to be wholly open with others so that in the ritual itself and letting go of inhibitions there is an implicit sense of openness. The rituals of pre-sleep are also transparent in so much as there are no secret motives, they are being pursued for their own sake. Finally, in essence what the text reveals to us in the significant last line of the above quote is the source of the beauty and harmony within grace; it is the self-realization which occurs through the feeling of connection to others. This holds true in any every day experience of grace which seems to ultimately achieve a deep feeling of connection by initially harnessing a more superficial state of disconnection.


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