2002-12-29 - 6:56 p.m.
I bought me the new Good Charlotte CD by way of apology for sudden recent crap. Me is very pleased as the cd is ace and so we're currently on good terms.
3-day weekly stint as checkoutchick-orama ended an hour ago. Nothing particularly noteworthy... I was complimented by a smelly old guy on friday, saturday was nightmarish, and today was kind of okay. My shoulder is all wrecked from nonstop repetitveness. Think if I let one of the cuter boy customers get away with free groceries he'd rub it for me? Yeah. Probably not.
Thinking about guys, again (okay, it's not particularly truthful to say again when the guy thinking in my head is consistently constant, but still). Already mentioned is the Triad (the major 3) but lately have realised that a major proportion of the guys I catch myself being interested in is utterly dependent on the fact that I look at them and think "Wow, he would make such a good handbag,"
Don't get ahead of me, I haven't gone all Mr Burns with the wanting to skin them and make them into my accessories (Although they would be all smooth and guy smelling). And I'm not thinking in terms of practicality, such as they would be able to do things for me like hold my stuff (although that in itself is a yay)...
The heart of the matter (or the heartlessness of the matter) is the fact that I look at guys like I shop for accessories. I tend to think about how they will look with me, and... okay, let's be blunt now: I don't actually have any real feelings for the guy whatsoever in these cases, and am instead thinking how cool it would be if he wanted me.
I'm not sure why yet, something about status, and something about serving the same purpose as an accessory.
Where this all gets really lame is in the notion that when shopping for accessories, I tend to think about how guys I would want could view them. And that's bad, obviously, it's not good to treat everything around me as some sort of an accessory otherwise I will be constantly trying to upgrade the people in my life like I am already doing to my wardrobe.
My wardrobe is running rampant by the way, I intend on doing a cull soon, so if anybody wants reject babs clothes.... lol, i don't think anyone would want even nonreject babs clothes, but anyway...
Sighsigh. I intend on doing many things with my time and yet nothing gets done. Could we hold off on this year drawing to a close for a few weeks? I'd really appreciate it, ta.
New Year's Eve still sees me planless. I want to go out but at the same time don't. Not going would be bad, loss of fun for those involved (and life for the one threatening suicide). Not going would be good, NYE is seen as an important turning point (and I am so over those, would really like to just sleep through one for once). Plus there's guilt either way now. Double plus my mother's just started taking meds, meds which are likely to have side effects, and if I catch even a glimpse of that happening I am so not going anywhere.
It's too complicated. Again, I restate a desire to reschedule NYE just until I've got my L's, a new job, learned to cook, cleaned up my act/house, have seen my mother through this, and someone's found a cure to terrorism/or paranoia.
I'm waiting.
3-day weekly stint as checkoutchick-orama ended an hour ago. Nothing particularly noteworthy... I was complimented by a smelly old guy on friday, saturday was nightmarish, and today was kind of okay. My shoulder is all wrecked from nonstop repetitveness. Think if I let one of the cuter boy customers get away with free groceries he'd rub it for me? Yeah. Probably not.
Thinking about guys, again (okay, it's not particularly truthful to say again when the guy thinking in my head is consistently constant, but still). Already mentioned is the Triad (the major 3) but lately have realised that a major proportion of the guys I catch myself being interested in is utterly dependent on the fact that I look at them and think "Wow, he would make such a good handbag,"
Don't get ahead of me, I haven't gone all Mr Burns with the wanting to skin them and make them into my accessories (Although they would be all smooth and guy smelling). And I'm not thinking in terms of practicality, such as they would be able to do things for me like hold my stuff (although that in itself is a yay)...
The heart of the matter (or the heartlessness of the matter) is the fact that I look at guys like I shop for accessories. I tend to think about how they will look with me, and... okay, let's be blunt now: I don't actually have any real feelings for the guy whatsoever in these cases, and am instead thinking how cool it would be if he wanted me.
I'm not sure why yet, something about status, and something about serving the same purpose as an accessory.
Where this all gets really lame is in the notion that when shopping for accessories, I tend to think about how guys I would want could view them. And that's bad, obviously, it's not good to treat everything around me as some sort of an accessory otherwise I will be constantly trying to upgrade the people in my life like I am already doing to my wardrobe.
My wardrobe is running rampant by the way, I intend on doing a cull soon, so if anybody wants reject babs clothes.... lol, i don't think anyone would want even nonreject babs clothes, but anyway...
Sighsigh. I intend on doing many things with my time and yet nothing gets done. Could we hold off on this year drawing to a close for a few weeks? I'd really appreciate it, ta.
New Year's Eve still sees me planless. I want to go out but at the same time don't. Not going would be bad, loss of fun for those involved (and life for the one threatening suicide). Not going would be good, NYE is seen as an important turning point (and I am so over those, would really like to just sleep through one for once). Plus there's guilt either way now. Double plus my mother's just started taking meds, meds which are likely to have side effects, and if I catch even a glimpse of that happening I am so not going anywhere.
It's too complicated. Again, I restate a desire to reschedule NYE just until I've got my L's, a new job, learned to cook, cleaned up my act/house, have seen my mother through this, and someone's found a cure to terrorism/or paranoia.
I'm waiting.
