2004-07-03 - 6:38 a.m.
Strange day baby, muchos strange.
I woke up and got out of bed at 7. And I do mean a.m. I get up in the mornings now! willingly! For the first time in two decades.
The bus was half an hour late and sitting on it I was trapped between a roach and a stinky man and when I got off there were two men screaming at each other in the middle of the street and I thought that as an encore I'd fail my exam and accidentally set myself on fire... but y'know, it didn't turn out that bad. Well, no fire anyway.
I'm not sure if I passed. Like with my other exam, I either scraped by or failed miserably. On the bright side, I picked up my linguistics paper and turns out I got 82%. I have a distinction average, how nice but freaking odd. Onwards to honours! The field with no associated career path!
But no, I'm happy about that. Really. I think.
In other news, I'm morbid and weird. I was waiting for my ride to show up, after the exam. On the main road in front of uni. It's busy, you know? Cars whizzing by in determination to reach their preordained destination. And this is all going to sound like a very bad Creed song (I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking...), but I'm standing there, less than a metre from traffic, watching life speed by and ... I don't know where it came from but this little suggestion started calling me. Tiny at first but louder as a shiny silver car approached.
Jump.
I'm not suicidal or even depressed but I think I just wanted to know what it would be like. Would I feel the sickening crunch of bones, the delicate ripping of my skin? Would my blood stain the pavement? Would I fly through the air momentarily in some kind of tragic glory?
See? Yesterday apathetic and today morbid. Tomorrow maybe ennui. I must be working my way through the stereotypical emotions of the lost youths.
Muchos strange.
I woke up and got out of bed at 7. And I do mean a.m. I get up in the mornings now! willingly! For the first time in two decades.
The bus was half an hour late and sitting on it I was trapped between a roach and a stinky man and when I got off there were two men screaming at each other in the middle of the street and I thought that as an encore I'd fail my exam and accidentally set myself on fire... but y'know, it didn't turn out that bad. Well, no fire anyway.
I'm not sure if I passed. Like with my other exam, I either scraped by or failed miserably. On the bright side, I picked up my linguistics paper and turns out I got 82%. I have a distinction average, how nice but freaking odd. Onwards to honours! The field with no associated career path!
But no, I'm happy about that. Really. I think.
In other news, I'm morbid and weird. I was waiting for my ride to show up, after the exam. On the main road in front of uni. It's busy, you know? Cars whizzing by in determination to reach their preordained destination. And this is all going to sound like a very bad Creed song (I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking...), but I'm standing there, less than a metre from traffic, watching life speed by and ... I don't know where it came from but this little suggestion started calling me. Tiny at first but louder as a shiny silver car approached.
Jump.
I'm not suicidal or even depressed but I think I just wanted to know what it would be like. Would I feel the sickening crunch of bones, the delicate ripping of my skin? Would my blood stain the pavement? Would I fly through the air momentarily in some kind of tragic glory?
See? Yesterday apathetic and today morbid. Tomorrow maybe ennui. I must be working my way through the stereotypical emotions of the lost youths.
Muchos strange.
