So the wedding that I was bracing myself for has come and gone. I knew there would be badness but the sources were so very unanticipated you could have knocked me over with a feather.

A few surprising good things happened too, but we'll get to them in a second.

The day started off badly, we were running late and hit some traffic, causing my dad to speed and curse profusely, and also proclaim sincerely he'd be dying of a heart attack this Christmas from the stress me and my mother give him.

Of course we weren't late in the end after all, we never are. And of course my parents had held a major commotion over my wanting to wear thongs (American: Flip-flops) to the wedding, so thongs I did not wear, and yet just as I said there were girls there my age wearing them... or to put in my exact words "Hello, it's the fashion, and of course you don't think so, you're old,"

My parents never listen to me because I'm always right.

Hehehe...

Scene from wedding:
Babs' cousin's daughter (who is actually a good 10 - 15 yrs older than her due to Babs being born outragiously late, not that you need to know that, but eh, now you do): Hey! Barbara! How are you? Wow, everytime I see you you're thinner and thinner...
Babs': *smiles and nods while mentally replying "Yeeeah, it's called anorexia*

Fast forward to the reception, which was in a very purdy place in Leichardt by the way. My brother and sister-in-law both confronted me about my mother.

My brother not so much. My sister-in-law very much, she even lured me away to a deserted area. I didn't really notice it til now but my mother has lost a stack of weight and is dead skinny, so they were very much "Oh my god, is she sick?" which, of course, she kinda is, but I'm too bound by silence to tell them that.

And she gave me another secret to keep. I have been a bit overburdened with them lately, not that I mind. The vault is just getting a bit clogged up, and it is actually taking effort to remember what I'm not s'posed to mention in front of whom. It's all good, though, because the only secrets I ever let out are my own. So not really good for me, but anyway...

Wedding itself was boresome and upsetting. I'm happy for them yeah, even though I less than barely know most of the people there called family. I watched all the ritual splendour and it convinced me that love isn't just a myth as I have presupposed, but that it is real and I just won't ever see it in my life.

Michael was there.

Michael is a few years older than me, we used to hang around at my cousin's when I was little sometimes... I think he was my actual first crush.

Anyway he's older now obviously, time tends to age people. And then the unfairness of it all, he is absolutely can-I-lay-down-and-die-in-front-of-you-type gorgeous. While I'm... well let's just say that if the comet from the simpsons was beauty, my relationship to it would be that of the rocket they sent to obliterate it. You with me? Yeah...

And of course, I didn't think he even knew who I was. I mean I hadn't even seen him since his sister's wedding (a good few years now) and although he was talking to the girls at my table (who were obviously quite good friends with him) he didn't say a word to me (although he had no reason to, I had been staring at him a bit trying to figure out if he was indeed him and whether he recognised me)... until he decided to leave. He said goodbye to each of the three girls, and then he said goodbye to me.

Well, it would have been rude not to, and he's a very polite, good Croatian boy.

He said goodbye and my name, the latter part shocking me, I didn't think he knew who I was. And then in typical european fashion, in a ritual which I'm sure was less than meaningless to him, he kissed me on the cheek.

I kissed his cheek, felt it's warmth and smelled his aftershave ... and it was click, inside of me.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't melt. You don't have to worry, I am stopping being a boy whore and my lusting calender is far too full already.

He just made me feel something that I can't explain to well right now, since it doesn't actually fall into any terms related to attraction (different ground entirely), but give me some time...

So yes, that was something.

Also was surprised by, me caring about me not properly greeting an obscure family connection when I normally wouldn't give an... expletive of choice.

Also was touched by the way my brother came to talk to me when I was bored, and the way that when he saw I was alone he made me come sit with him and people, he even brought a chair for me.

I really didn't think he cared.

And also, other good part was Emi asking me to come with her and some other family for a long weekend in Melbourne. Was really, sweet of her. I said maybe.

So there were so very unexpected things to come out of this union and probably more that I have failed to mention (like when we were leaving, a guy tripped and steadied himself by putting his hands on my waist... erm... hi?), some almost good, some not so, some I will tell you of later maybe but for now I just have a sad taste in my mouth that will be washed out with sleep now.

Work, tomorrow. You, later.

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