grey skies aren't gonna clear up
2003-06-30 - 9:08 p.m.

Overcast day is overcasting my head.

Couldn't get to sleep last night, it was just too hard, and I couldn't find sleep until early morning.

My mind was all with the ripping itself apart, thinking about things which I know will only make things harder, but I couldn't help it... I think I might need to go back to the head doctor but I don't know if that will necessarily translate into me doing it.

Maybe I should just stick with my old fill the void with a boy routine, since that's been known to work out so great.

Although, new rule, no more dating guys that I can beat at pool. It's a thing.

I only just got up, as my fouffy hair and vagueness proves. Rest of today will be spent shopping with mother, a yay and a nay. Yay because I like buying things. Nay because mother in a public setting makes it painfully visible how helpless she's becoming.

But I'll survive it because it's all I can do. No falling apart because we can't afford it, even though I want to.



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