never pay the reaper with love only
2005-02-27 - 2:18 a.m.
If I weren't so spent I would be getting my rocks off on metadiarying right now, so thank your luckies that I'm utterly drained out.
I've been out every night this week! wheeee! You'd almost think I was a social butterfly, except I'm most definitely not. Think of a more retarded insect, I'm most definitely a social that.
The excessive going outness is a sort of farewell to the holidays. I start uni on monday, and though I've been looking forward to it for the past few weeks now I'm feeling ... I think the most accurate phrase would be "pre-emptive tedium". Huzzah for avoiding disappointment by having negative expectations! I wish I could get cynics to have a parade and cheer that ... but it would probably intrinsically go against their nature.
There's something else, that I don't know how to talk about, so I guess ... I won't? I'm just not sure ... if there's anything to be said. No, that's not right, there's definitely something to be said ... I'm just not sure what it is.
I'm not making any sense am I... wow, that's SO atypical of me.
Anyway, things are good, basically. Old doors open and new doors shut, with the potential existing for the reverse to abruptly apply, and I'm ... okay with all of it.
I think sometime in January the long-lost sensible Babs was forced to re-emerge. Having been shut down since primary school, she experienced a significant amount of shock when she discovered all the things impulsive, irrational, hysterical Babs had done in her absence.... and now sensible-babs spends her time watching herself carefully and thinking about parts of the past while muttering, cringing, rolling her eyes, and shaking her head.
Oh god, I'm dividing myself up into people. I went to bed at 4am and spontaneously woke up at 9am this morning... I'm going to blame that. Sleepytimes, xxx.