to x or not to x ... and psychic energy gone horribly astray
2004-11-09 - 12:14 a.m.

I've been playing those games with my mobile and email where I give them a sort of pleading look and huskily say "You know you want to..." and I pout and stare and will them to materialise a message for me.

Of course this game eventually deteriorates to me whining "Do it for me! I know you're turned on! Why oh why won't you give me any LOVE?!!!"

... I didn't say it was a sane game. But I'm quite sure I'm not the only one who plays it. Everybody waits for something from someone at some point right? Even if you maybe shouldn't.

I want to hear from boy. Which falls somewhere in the lines of moronic/annoying because BABS DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO, YOU'VE BROKEN UP! Here let me read it to you "Dear Baby: Welcome to Dumpsville, population - you..."

Even though I am vaguely aware of the memo, I want ... communication, and time, together. He's one of my closest friends, after all... but he's also ... my (e)x. Even though neither of those terms really fit him. I could go into a whole big semantic thing here about the meaning of each of those terms, but I've been through it all in my head repeatedly, and trust me, I've literally vomited things which held more literary appeal.

Anyway, yes, I'll probably hear from him at some point. Unlike me, he actually has a life. Eventually he may check up on me here and will be somewhere on the amused-bemused spectrum about this entry, hell he may just point at it and laugh with a haughty French accent, I have no clue (but can for some reason envision him doing that).

Ohhh, I'm rambling. My point was, this evening I approached my email with trepidation as I braced myself by repeating "He hasn't emailed you. He has a life. You should get a life. He hasn't emailed you..." and what do you think I found in my inbox??

I don't know Babs! You are saying. Could it have been some kind of email mayhap?

Well yes, yes it was! My darling well-informed reader. But no it was not from boy. It was however from a boy.

Stop being such a tease! Get to the freaking point!

Well, okay. It was in fact from that puppy who loved me so much he got his mother to stalk me.



When I realised who it was I promptly shrieked out "arrrrrgghhhh!!! WRONG EX!" and made appropriate flailing and spasms. Perhaps my psychic energy was working so hard at concentrating on boy that the vibes accidentally got sent out to all the ex's ... which makes sense considering the contents of the email was all "hope everything is going as well as it can be". How did he know I've not been doing so well? Or does he just know enough about me to know that I consistently not do well?

Hah. No, that's not funny. I wish he had just forgotten me, like I'd forgotten him.

"tell me did you really think I had gone when you couldn't see me anymore?" Missy Higgins/Indie Delta blares out of radioland now.

It's funny how much I find myself with the shoe on the other foot these days. Is that the saying? I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop, definitely.

One day I'd just like to have both shoes on my feet where they belong, completely unable to get involved in such unpleasant cliches.

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