It's Valentine's Day in a few days.

Last year, I like to think I was stunningly graceful about this event. Love to all in the form of cards! Even strangers! Because it's not about who you know or don't, it's about the love! Love! Love!

So in considering my wonderful upbeat attitude then, please give me some credit for it, because this year I'm digging my heels in and proclaiming: Valentine's -- my hate for you is back, WITH AVENGEANCE.

Every year it's all nausea hearts and smug couples and old St. Val himself rising from the dead to mock me and my singleness, and this year it feels like he's mocking just that little bit harder.

So darling Val, let me take this moment to say -- SCREW YOU. SCREW YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON!

Okay, I'm good now. The fact that you were a priest and you probably never got any is strangely calming.

In other news...

I saw my high school English teacher from a bus the other day. It made me laugh because I immediately started running through the ways my life has changed, and I concluded that my life is SO much more fucked up now. And I can't really explain why, but this fact is hysterically funny.

And as long as I'm amused, the whole thing can't possibly be that bad now can it.

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