2002-11-07 - 3:22 p.m.
I am a girl in sadness today but I'll try not to go there so no one has to roll their eyes and say "I can't believe she's still obsessing,"
Keep in mind that I said try. Ahem. Today I wore my brown stripey pants with my patented "Argh! Don't bend down!" (oh, the cleavage! Won't someone please think of the children?!) top with my gucci (Okay, I'm brandname dropping, but only because this is the only brand named item in my wardrobe and I feel sad for it having to be all snobby by itself because all my other accessories are cheap and they exclude poor lil gucci... yes in my head my accessories have fantabulous parties when I'm not wearing them.... and can you say, sidetrack?) sunglasses.
I found Colleen at uni and she laughed at me for looking so grown up. The thought makes me smile now because I love how I can breeze through my life looking all the world like an adult but the second I display my true colours you'll notice that my mental age is five.
Seriously. My mother just passed by my door and I cried out "Cookie! I want!"
... and yet there are no cookies. Where's the love, I ask you??
I am twitchy right now, I think I might be just quietly stressing about uni factors. It's almost nice to feel stress once again but sadly it isn't enough to make me do anything.
Oh, the laziness.
And it doesn't help that in my brain I think about time like the holidays are here already.
dum da da DUM... final day of smart guy obsessing for the year was today, possibly forever. I, like the do-nothing loser that I am, did nothing.
I didn't feel overly obsessed today. I mean, I noted down what colour he was wearing and listened attentively to every word out of his mouth, but... I didn't do that panicky "arghhesherehowsmyhairohmygodohmygoddidhejustlookatmeohmygod" hyperaware thing that is usually so typical of me.
So yes I'm feeling sad about the loss of seeing him around in my life (I was going to say just the loss of him in my life, but my own inactivity meant he never got anywhere near in except in my head, he was very much in my head, probably too much, oh the babble).
As I was walking down to lower campus I had one of those classic-babs realisations (the painfully obvious and generally stupid kind). The reason I am pining the loss is because he was (aww... past tense!.. *sniffsniff*) without a doubt one of my top three obsessions of all time.
It's sad that I have a had a top three in that area, but I have. When I am oldish and I look back on these obsessions, together the three males will make up THE TRIAD! (I like calling them this because it gives them an evil lame charmed-esque feel).
Smart Guy, he was the one with the intelligent thoughts and humour, the one with the beautiful mind. Former-melty-hair-boy, he is the one with the suave grace invisible to everyone but me, the one with the beautiful body. And the now-long-dead-but-well-remembered lame popstar Tony Lee Scott, he was the one with the easy going, caring nature, he was the one with the beautiful heart.
The power is yours! Sorry, just mocking myself over here. I thought it was called for with the lame captain planet-esque tone of the above paragraph.
Yes, anyway, have been thinking about the three for a while and I know who I would choose (if someone ever decided to give me the choice, offering one of them to me on a silver platter). Do you?
Please vote, I'm majorly curious, and your vote could sway my opinion... so vote!
And since I don't want to end on an entirely pathetic lame note (would prefer something only partially lame), I might just note that lately have been having weird strangle maths guy fantasies. Things where I get to slap him or throw a plate or just verbally abuse him and make him cry! cry like I cried!
... I think I might be lacking closure.
Keep in mind that I said try. Ahem. Today I wore my brown stripey pants with my patented "Argh! Don't bend down!" (oh, the cleavage! Won't someone please think of the children?!) top with my gucci (Okay, I'm brandname dropping, but only because this is the only brand named item in my wardrobe and I feel sad for it having to be all snobby by itself because all my other accessories are cheap and they exclude poor lil gucci... yes in my head my accessories have fantabulous parties when I'm not wearing them.... and can you say, sidetrack?) sunglasses.
I found Colleen at uni and she laughed at me for looking so grown up. The thought makes me smile now because I love how I can breeze through my life looking all the world like an adult but the second I display my true colours you'll notice that my mental age is five.
Seriously. My mother just passed by my door and I cried out "Cookie! I want!"
... and yet there are no cookies. Where's the love, I ask you??
I am twitchy right now, I think I might be just quietly stressing about uni factors. It's almost nice to feel stress once again but sadly it isn't enough to make me do anything.
Oh, the laziness.
And it doesn't help that in my brain I think about time like the holidays are here already.
dum da da DUM... final day of smart guy obsessing for the year was today, possibly forever. I, like the do-nothing loser that I am, did nothing.
I didn't feel overly obsessed today. I mean, I noted down what colour he was wearing and listened attentively to every word out of his mouth, but... I didn't do that panicky "arghhesherehowsmyhairohmygodohmygoddidhejustlookatmeohmygod" hyperaware thing that is usually so typical of me.
So yes I'm feeling sad about the loss of seeing him around in my life (I was going to say just the loss of him in my life, but my own inactivity meant he never got anywhere near in except in my head, he was very much in my head, probably too much, oh the babble).
As I was walking down to lower campus I had one of those classic-babs realisations (the painfully obvious and generally stupid kind). The reason I am pining the loss is because he was (aww... past tense!.. *sniffsniff*) without a doubt one of my top three obsessions of all time.
It's sad that I have a had a top three in that area, but I have. When I am oldish and I look back on these obsessions, together the three males will make up THE TRIAD! (I like calling them this because it gives them an evil lame charmed-esque feel).
Smart Guy, he was the one with the intelligent thoughts and humour, the one with the beautiful mind. Former-melty-hair-boy, he is the one with the suave grace invisible to everyone but me, the one with the beautiful body. And the now-long-dead-but-well-remembered lame popstar Tony Lee Scott, he was the one with the easy going, caring nature, he was the one with the beautiful heart.
The power is yours! Sorry, just mocking myself over here. I thought it was called for with the lame captain planet-esque tone of the above paragraph.
Yes, anyway, have been thinking about the three for a while and I know who I would choose (if someone ever decided to give me the choice, offering one of them to me on a silver platter). Do you?
Please vote, I'm majorly curious, and your vote could sway my opinion... so vote!
And since I don't want to end on an entirely pathetic lame note (would prefer something only partially lame), I might just note that lately have been having weird strangle maths guy fantasies. Things where I get to slap him or throw a plate or just verbally abuse him and make him cry! cry like I cried!
... I think I might be lacking closure.
