2002-03-10 - 12:05 p.m.
[And strange to say
I wish you well
I know you had
Your time in hell
And I know you won't let that go]
Whenever I stop writing regularly I return with too much to write about and you get one of those tragically half-assed entries.
I'll just promise to try my best to use my whole ass and then we'll move on.
Human Nature concert the other night. I won't say much except to observe that Bardot's dance routines were at a lesbianic high, and Human Nature ... well, nothing can be said there to convey the hilarity and swaying of the evening.
Only thing I'll mention and I'm not sure why is how their sad love songs make me feel sad because for a second I feel empathy and then the second passes and I remember how I have no cause for empathy and I feel sadder even ...
I drank a sub zero and some guy tried to card me (I didn't bring a bag so lacked ID so he couldn't really do anything) because he said I "looked young".
This caused me to be unbelievably angry at society for the ensuing hours, a frustration which has since faded but let me vent it anyway.
I mean, I spend years doing the traditional teenage depressive funk (hah, almost sounds like a dance move) and they all say how old I look, just because I smiled less and acted a bit like a jaded adult type person.
So I think fine and turn around and recapture my inner child, blah blah, be a person of the happy when it suits me and society turns around and says how young I seem.
Society is never happy ...
So screw you society! Screw you, but not before having to stop and ask directions to your non-existant penis!
... I feel better now. Totally out of character, yes, but also better.
Yesterday was spent in a freezing room, being inducted into the Coles Supermarkets family. I'd tell you more about what we were told but I think I may have signed something saying I wouldn't, so ...
We watched like fifteen training videos and did comprehension questions on them, and then signed a sheet for each video to say we had watched it, and comprehended.
Have I said too much already? I don't know. Let's just say I saw a seamy underside of supermarkets.
But let's understand that I'm saying that purely for literary value.
Um, I'm not allowed to serve family or friends, because of their policy to treat customers equally. But I'm not sure I understand what to do if someone I know comes to my counter, smile politely and ask them to go away? Not really serving them better then, are we?
But anyway, if you're shopping at Coles in Broadway and you see me and know me, don't come to my counter ... I haven't even started yet and I'm worried about being fired, eee.
Anyway, more about induction day. We had to stand up and introduce ourselves and I babbled violently and I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was insane, and the cute guy and his nice friend were probably laughing at me as opposed to with.
Oh yes! There was a kind of cute guy there. Nice eyes. Said something about me to his friend .... you know when they do that look at you and then start talking and you absolutely know they're talking about you? Yes, well ...
They were laughing most of the day, and seemed like my kinda guys from a distance and damnit I wish I had guy friends.
Oh oh! And I think I met someone more naive than me, how unbelievable is that? This girl who sat across from me, who was in year 10. We chitchatted a little, and she asked me what course I was doing and I told her Arts and she went "Oh! I do art!" but I didn't have the heart to explain the difference to her.
And then later she told me her suspicions about aforementioned two guys being gay and I accidently agreed immediately, becuase I have a habit of doing that when strangers talk to me, but I was really thinking she was naive for thinking that ... they seemed so much like manly guy friends in the semi-nerdy sense of the word manly. But not gay ... I'd swear I caught both of them staring at me/checking me out at different points in the day, although if they were gay they could have just been assessing my hair, which had this "wild because I was out clubbing all night and then I went and shagged some stranger" look going for it that surprisingly didn't look that bad.
Um. I don't exactly have a strong gaydar but I think I would have picked it up ... I should have just bet her a dollar that they weren't and then walked up and asked them.
I'm pretty sure they would have confirmed my beliefs and then the incident would have become a humourus anecdote at the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
Damnit. I'm 85% sure they think I'm a looney, not that they don't have cause. Anyway, after the day was over I waited for my ride home outside and the guys walked by me ... the nice one noticed me first and smiled and waved, and I waved back and then the other one turned and smiled at me ...
This made me feel inexplicably giddy at the time but now that I replay that smile in memory it was more of "Hah, crazy person!" smile more than anything else ...
Woo the long thoughtless entry, shutting up now.
I wish you well
I know you had
Your time in hell
And I know you won't let that go]
Whenever I stop writing regularly I return with too much to write about and you get one of those tragically half-assed entries.
I'll just promise to try my best to use my whole ass and then we'll move on.
Human Nature concert the other night. I won't say much except to observe that Bardot's dance routines were at a lesbianic high, and Human Nature ... well, nothing can be said there to convey the hilarity and swaying of the evening.
Only thing I'll mention and I'm not sure why is how their sad love songs make me feel sad because for a second I feel empathy and then the second passes and I remember how I have no cause for empathy and I feel sadder even ...
I drank a sub zero and some guy tried to card me (I didn't bring a bag so lacked ID so he couldn't really do anything) because he said I "looked young".
This caused me to be unbelievably angry at society for the ensuing hours, a frustration which has since faded but let me vent it anyway.
I mean, I spend years doing the traditional teenage depressive funk (hah, almost sounds like a dance move) and they all say how old I look, just because I smiled less and acted a bit like a jaded adult type person.
So I think fine and turn around and recapture my inner child, blah blah, be a person of the happy when it suits me and society turns around and says how young I seem.
Society is never happy ...
So screw you society! Screw you, but not before having to stop and ask directions to your non-existant penis!
... I feel better now. Totally out of character, yes, but also better.
Yesterday was spent in a freezing room, being inducted into the Coles Supermarkets family. I'd tell you more about what we were told but I think I may have signed something saying I wouldn't, so ...
We watched like fifteen training videos and did comprehension questions on them, and then signed a sheet for each video to say we had watched it, and comprehended.
Have I said too much already? I don't know. Let's just say I saw a seamy underside of supermarkets.
But let's understand that I'm saying that purely for literary value.
Um, I'm not allowed to serve family or friends, because of their policy to treat customers equally. But I'm not sure I understand what to do if someone I know comes to my counter, smile politely and ask them to go away? Not really serving them better then, are we?
But anyway, if you're shopping at Coles in Broadway and you see me and know me, don't come to my counter ... I haven't even started yet and I'm worried about being fired, eee.
Anyway, more about induction day. We had to stand up and introduce ourselves and I babbled violently and I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was insane, and the cute guy and his nice friend were probably laughing at me as opposed to with.
Oh yes! There was a kind of cute guy there. Nice eyes. Said something about me to his friend .... you know when they do that look at you and then start talking and you absolutely know they're talking about you? Yes, well ...
They were laughing most of the day, and seemed like my kinda guys from a distance and damnit I wish I had guy friends.
Oh oh! And I think I met someone more naive than me, how unbelievable is that? This girl who sat across from me, who was in year 10. We chitchatted a little, and she asked me what course I was doing and I told her Arts and she went "Oh! I do art!" but I didn't have the heart to explain the difference to her.
And then later she told me her suspicions about aforementioned two guys being gay and I accidently agreed immediately, becuase I have a habit of doing that when strangers talk to me, but I was really thinking she was naive for thinking that ... they seemed so much like manly guy friends in the semi-nerdy sense of the word manly. But not gay ... I'd swear I caught both of them staring at me/checking me out at different points in the day, although if they were gay they could have just been assessing my hair, which had this "wild because I was out clubbing all night and then I went and shagged some stranger" look going for it that surprisingly didn't look that bad.
Um. I don't exactly have a strong gaydar but I think I would have picked it up ... I should have just bet her a dollar that they weren't and then walked up and asked them.
I'm pretty sure they would have confirmed my beliefs and then the incident would have become a humourus anecdote at the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
Damnit. I'm 85% sure they think I'm a looney, not that they don't have cause. Anyway, after the day was over I waited for my ride home outside and the guys walked by me ... the nice one noticed me first and smiled and waved, and I waved back and then the other one turned and smiled at me ...
This made me feel inexplicably giddy at the time but now that I replay that smile in memory it was more of "Hah, crazy person!" smile more than anything else ...
Woo the long thoughtless entry, shutting up now.
