I saw the coolest, coolest shoes today, they were ruby red and ever since I met them there's been a whisper in my brain urging me to go, no, run, no push down old ladies and do whatever it takes to get back and buy them.

Of course you know me and my masochistic/sadistic relationships with shoes, I only seem to get attached to the ones that want to inflict varying but consistent amounts of pain, but hey, better I let shoes do that to me than a guy right, at least the shoes make me look good, limping aside.

I'm having a materialistic attack at the moment, as you can see obviously, I think it may be a post-PMS reaction... and that last entry I wrote, yes that was PMS, that was it growing exponentially and yesterday I got to watch it peak, with thoughts like:

"(during movie Van Helsing)... Ooh, that ex-prince now werewolf, he's hot! but evil..."
"Oh, that Dracula, so evil... and yet so hot,"
"OHMYGOD, that random guy-shaped thing on the street, so incredibly hot!"
all while feeling like the hunchbackress of the eastern suburbs.

So I think I've figured it out, these are my symptoms, I'm writing them down here now so next time I don't have to wonder why I have morphed into a complete freak:

* Everyone is hot. EVERYONE, but me.
* I am so UGLY that it is a wonder that children on the street don't turn and run away screaming while their parents fall on their knees crying "She's hiddeeeeooousss!!!!" at the mere glimpse of me
* I CRY at almost everything, including the absolute tragic to the ludicrously unupsetting.
* I am OFFENDED by things I would normally not be offended by.
* I eat everything IN SIGHT while simultaneously pretending to be on a diet.

... I so am going back to buy those shoes. Life-changing revelations can wait til another week.

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