Larger than life is your fiction, in a universe made up of one
2004-12-05 - 12:16 a.m.

You know, if being a drama queen were a calling, I would rock at it.

I envision it being something like a drag queen, only less cross-dressing and more ... well, drama. Exclamation marks! Exaggerated sighs! Poutiest of pouts! Pointiest of pointy ... gestures!

Maybe I should be a mime then... oh GOD no. No! Noo!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Once I took one of them vocational quizzes. And it said considering my personality, I would work good as a customs officer or maybe one of them there prison guards.

What the hell did that even mean?? So my consequential question is -- How do y'all know? (And why do I have a redneck accent happening in this entry?? so many questions...)

I mean, how do you know what you want to do with your life? do you just know? because I feel like I'm stabbing around in the dark over here, with the monotony being broken up by vocations screaming out "argh!! I'm bleeding!!" or "get off my foot, you bitch".

Okay, let's review.

By this I mean, let me go through my vocational considerations aloud, while you and probably I too quickly die of boredom. Run! Run while you can! It's not fair that our youth and extreme good looks should be wasted like this, so save yourself!!

Okay, I've now resigned myself to my boredom-death.

Psychology: I'm studying it, I think I'm also failing it currently, so there is no future for me here. Why did I ever think there was? I am not into science.

Linguistics: I'm studying it, I'm doing well in it, but it has no real associated career path. Unless I want to be an academic, which I think would make me even battier than I already am, which is a really scary thought.

Writing: I do of the here, I can occasionally string a sentence together, but. I lack the 2 C's (I know, I know, linguistically things tend to come in 3's but I just can't think of a third and yes this does irk me): Concentration and Creativity.

Creativity: I'm not original. Ideas I come up with, though many when prodded, tend to be other people's ideas mutated together. I don't have a knack with description as I tend to find it painfully tedious, so things I write come out very unfounded.

Concentration: I can't focus, and this is a problem that has spilled over into the rest of my life too. Today, I forgot to put an ingredient in a cake that only has, like, five ingredients. I can't even read, it took me a really really really long time to finish a bite-sized Camus novel even though it was quite delectable. If I can't even read, why would I think I could write?

Actually, the whole lack of concentration thing smacks me around a lot more than the whole lack of forseeable future thing. Segue! Segue like you've never segued before! *mutter*dramaqueen*mutter*

Where'd my concentration go? When I was younger I was a dreamer, but I was also much more grounded. I had focus, and drive, and I suspect the lack of the latter has influenced the former, and ... why do I keep thinking about cake? Oh, I mentioned it a paragraph ago. Mmmm, cake.

Um, what was I saying? Damnit, see! Not that being this flighty doesn't have it's slight advantages, but this is annoying and I'm tired of it and if someone's seen a bag marked "BABS' CONCENTRATION" please send it this way.

You know, in year seven we had a test on where the right place to put an apostrophe (') was in certain given sentences. Most of the class failed the first time, but only me and one other girl failed the second time. So we both cheated by just memorising the correct answers. That other girl is dead now, she committed suicide.

I'm not really going anywhere with that, it just came to mind. Although it is rather tempting to conclude that my poor knowledge of apostrophes has foretold my doom.

I am dramatic AND tangential. Can I make a career out of that?

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