2003-09-24 - 11:44 a.m.
I have the splittingest of headaches, much like someone has rammed some metal fragments into my head just to see what happens.
Today had a sweet little up and then a hyperventilating big down.
The up was of course guy-related, there's a new guy on the uni life scene who is gorgeous and sweet and funny who I spent a good hour foaming at the mouth over, I hope he didn't notice, eye contact with him made me blush and look away (I am such a GIRL).
He is, to top it off, my tutor which amuses me immensely as those clich�d plotlines of girls seducing/being seduced and ending up with better marks filter through my brain.
Finally, someone stereotypically good looking enough to seduce for better grades!
Of course I wouldn't, couldn't, but the extremely slim possibility delights me for unfathomable reasons. I don't particularly want to sleep my way to better grades or play the seductress. Perhaps I just find it funny that the thought even came to mind.
Sure, that's it.
Now I don't want to discuss the down, let's just say, I hate my degree, I hate my courses, I hate myself for hating them, and I hate high school for undoing all the knots I so carefully do up, and all these revelations led to a whole lot of public hyperventilating.
Basically I think it was a little panic attack and to stop the panic my body tried to cut off the flow of oxygen to my brain.
I'm sure it sounded like a good idea to my body at the time but in practice it didn't work out so crash hot.
Thankfully Vyv was there to talk me out of continuing with my best impression of a broken robot. Thank you vyva, if not for you I potentially would have passed out and been molested by drunk hobo's. Well, who knows.
So now on my to do list for summer holidays, under 'learn to cook' and 'redecorate room' are 'seriously reconsider future' and 'find something I actually like'.
No worries.
Today had a sweet little up and then a hyperventilating big down.
The up was of course guy-related, there's a new guy on the uni life scene who is gorgeous and sweet and funny who I spent a good hour foaming at the mouth over, I hope he didn't notice, eye contact with him made me blush and look away (I am such a GIRL).
He is, to top it off, my tutor which amuses me immensely as those clich�d plotlines of girls seducing/being seduced and ending up with better marks filter through my brain.
Finally, someone stereotypically good looking enough to seduce for better grades!
Of course I wouldn't, couldn't, but the extremely slim possibility delights me for unfathomable reasons. I don't particularly want to sleep my way to better grades or play the seductress. Perhaps I just find it funny that the thought even came to mind.
Sure, that's it.
Now I don't want to discuss the down, let's just say, I hate my degree, I hate my courses, I hate myself for hating them, and I hate high school for undoing all the knots I so carefully do up, and all these revelations led to a whole lot of public hyperventilating.
Basically I think it was a little panic attack and to stop the panic my body tried to cut off the flow of oxygen to my brain.
I'm sure it sounded like a good idea to my body at the time but in practice it didn't work out so crash hot.
Thankfully Vyv was there to talk me out of continuing with my best impression of a broken robot. Thank you vyva, if not for you I potentially would have passed out and been molested by drunk hobo's. Well, who knows.
So now on my to do list for summer holidays, under 'learn to cook' and 'redecorate room' are 'seriously reconsider future' and 'find something I actually like'.
No worries.
