2003-01-08 - 2:37 p.m.
Deep breath, something something.
Dreams of former-melty-hair-boy where he was mine. They were nice until I woke up in my own body with a resounding "urgh".
The weather looks skanky today, I fear it will rain on me later, but I don't care too much ... the generally rhetorical question of "why does it always rain on me?" is being answered in my head by a screamy little voice "Because you suck!"
No denial here.
La la la, I don't want to be teen angstalicious but there you go...
Went to tennis last night and that rocked muchly, I had forgotten how much I liked tennis. It made me miss Melbourne because of the Australian Open and it's general weird non-Sydneyness, something I catch myself thinking fondly of now, I could do with some nonhere.
I'm ready to get on with things but I need something to push me forward, I've been dawdling in the ready position for far too long. Lacking the energy, the motivation, the everything somehow.
I've got plenty of it but time is quietly slipping away from me and I wonder when the time will come that I've exhausted my supply...
Things are maybe too quiet is all. Four days off is probably three too many, I need to speed things up so I can forget about where I am and just get on with it. Maybe.
Oooh, so sharp and decisive am I.
Things only feel wrong when I have time to think about them. I really have to cut out that nasty thinking habit.
I'm trying to improve my body, I'm contemplating exercise (hey, it's more than I've done before) and am slowly altering my diet... (I eat tuna now... yurgh)... but I don't think it will work because I'm not doing it for me.
Am still guy obsessed, despite their profound absence.
They stop me thinking. Perhaps that is why I like them so much... I can forget myself completely when they're around.
Please come back soon.
Dreams of former-melty-hair-boy where he was mine. They were nice until I woke up in my own body with a resounding "urgh".
The weather looks skanky today, I fear it will rain on me later, but I don't care too much ... the generally rhetorical question of "why does it always rain on me?" is being answered in my head by a screamy little voice "Because you suck!"
No denial here.
La la la, I don't want to be teen angstalicious but there you go...
Went to tennis last night and that rocked muchly, I had forgotten how much I liked tennis. It made me miss Melbourne because of the Australian Open and it's general weird non-Sydneyness, something I catch myself thinking fondly of now, I could do with some nonhere.
I'm ready to get on with things but I need something to push me forward, I've been dawdling in the ready position for far too long. Lacking the energy, the motivation, the everything somehow.
I've got plenty of it but time is quietly slipping away from me and I wonder when the time will come that I've exhausted my supply...
Things are maybe too quiet is all. Four days off is probably three too many, I need to speed things up so I can forget about where I am and just get on with it. Maybe.
Oooh, so sharp and decisive am I.
Things only feel wrong when I have time to think about them. I really have to cut out that nasty thinking habit.
I'm trying to improve my body, I'm contemplating exercise (hey, it's more than I've done before) and am slowly altering my diet... (I eat tuna now... yurgh)... but I don't think it will work because I'm not doing it for me.
Am still guy obsessed, despite their profound absence.
They stop me thinking. Perhaps that is why I like them so much... I can forget myself completely when they're around.
Please come back soon.
