[Breathe in now...]

What is it with roaches always appearing whenever I write in my diary? Is it some kind of roach-plague sent down from the heavens to warn me off writing such crap?

Or is God still mad at me for eating the sinfully delicious new range of Magnum Icecreams? (Envy and Greed are the yummy...)

Anyway, thankfully today I have a roach killer. I call her 'mother'.

But moving on. Work again today, but finally I have tomorrow off and completely to myself. They gave me my shifts today ... and it seems I shall have no more whole lazy days to myself for at least a month, as I have uni Mon - Thurs, and work Fri - Sun ... I shall have to somehow squeeze relaxation into after hours. Hard rock cafe, anyone? I feel guilty for being away so long ...

I want to go to the Easter show but I don't know how I shall manage it ... maybe I should blow off uni. Hm.

I like work, perhaps more so than uni even. I feel purposeful, and when I go to bed I actually fall asleep right away now ... And money! That is in theory coming my way sometime soon ... But I like it of the much despite taking ages to travel there and having to face unairconditioned public transport and its hobos ...

There were three hobos on the bus today, easily recognisable by their beards; flannel; unique hobo smell (ew); hobo speech; and by the fact they were holding stubbies in their hands.

Let me give you an example of hobo speech, just in case you aren't familiar with it -

Hobo #1 I reckon they should stand up and give their seats to us, dont'yathink, mate?
Hobo #2 Why?
Hobo #1 Well, you're missin' three toes, and I'm missin' my left nut
Hobo #2 (slightly deaf) What?
Hobo #1 I said, (shouts so is clear to rest of bus) I'M MISSING MY NUT!

Ah no, I wouldn't give up public transport for anything in the world ...

I like going by familiar places that remind me of people, and events. I go by UTS and keep an eye out for Vyv; when I see a 378 (bus that goes to where Alex lives) I think of Alex, and whenever I go by that park near fox studios I think, "Remember that time Shelley saw people having sex there?" and smile fondly to myself ...

Good times, my friend, good times ...

Oh! Here's a thought. I think my mother subconsciously wants me dead. Or raped and pillaged at least. She keeps going out while I'm asleep and leaving the back door wide open and the gate only locked from the outside, which basically means you pull the latch thing and bing! You have access to our house...

She might as well leave a sign saying Rapists, murderers, and drug addicts shelter here!. Preferably in neon. Note to self, check for sign.

Meanwhile I am afraid that I am starting to develop my mother's alzheimer's-type-absentminded disease. Today I caught myself trying to use one fork as a fork and another fork as a knife.

And it took me a good few seconds to figure out "What's wrong with this picture?"

Switch tracks: my unhealthy amount of paranoia is sadly intact. I was walking blind today (had contacts out) and I heard an unidentifiable rustle behind me. Five seconds later, I had my entire will plotted out and was trying to figure out a way to leave Shelley my PIN number so she could access my account and take money for her I-want-to-be-a-star fund.

I'm not paranoid ... why, who told you I was? ... Oh right, me. Damn.

I really like a nice sharp ending that gives everyone closure, but since I've run out of points to make, I shall have to end with this:

Schwa! Which, by the way, according to my linguistics lecturer is the word for an indeterminate vowel sound. Who knew all this time I've been using a sound to be an all purpose word which already happens to be a word? Except spelt differently perhaps ....

Well that's a stupid ending if ever I saw one.

Except for that, which was much stupider.

... This could go on for ever. But it won't, I promise. So even if this ending is crap let's all just be thankful it ended, finally.

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