2002-10-14 - 12:36 a.m.
A diary entry just for you!
Well, not really, I am really just stuck with the discussion part of my essay -- still a long way from any sort of finish line -- but let's pretend, hm?
Darn the process of discussion being based on knowing... something. Anything. When the only thought I cling to is knowing that I want this done already.
Consider this a break type thing... and I know I said I wouldn't taint things, but here I am, needing to ramble-vent again and here you are...
In short... Run.
In long... my obsession caught my eye today, literally. He looked me in the eye (or did I look him in the eye first? I can never tell) and I couldn't hold his gaze for even a second.
Too much time thinking...staring... about/at him that I find I can't even look him in the eye. That's kind of sad.
Maybe it's because when I look I forget myself and I don't like that, it makes me wonder whether the-deer-in-the-headlights-who-is-in-awe-of-death type thing I'm feeling is visible on my face.
I still don't know whether the air of general animosity is just because I'm giving out the strangest vibes, or else...?
I still don't know what it is. People have actually seen him now and their lack of any particular reaction brings it home that it's just me. So what is it about him that fulfils all those romantic type clich�s.... something something... he makes my skin hum? if that guy's got into your blood...
And how does that relate to my other obsession, uni obsession? it's basically the same feeling, in the sense that, all the causes, whys, wherefores, and extenuating circumstances are completely different.
It's 1 am and the end is nowhere in sight but my eyes are blurring over already.... sigh.
Well, not really, I am really just stuck with the discussion part of my essay -- still a long way from any sort of finish line -- but let's pretend, hm?
Darn the process of discussion being based on knowing... something. Anything. When the only thought I cling to is knowing that I want this done already.
Consider this a break type thing... and I know I said I wouldn't taint things, but here I am, needing to ramble-vent again and here you are...
In short... Run.
In long... my obsession caught my eye today, literally. He looked me in the eye (or did I look him in the eye first? I can never tell) and I couldn't hold his gaze for even a second.
Too much time thinking...staring... about/at him that I find I can't even look him in the eye. That's kind of sad.
Maybe it's because when I look I forget myself and I don't like that, it makes me wonder whether the-deer-in-the-headlights-who-is-in-awe-of-death type thing I'm feeling is visible on my face.
I still don't know whether the air of general animosity is just because I'm giving out the strangest vibes, or else...?
I still don't know what it is. People have actually seen him now and their lack of any particular reaction brings it home that it's just me. So what is it about him that fulfils all those romantic type clich�s.... something something... he makes my skin hum? if that guy's got into your blood...
And how does that relate to my other obsession, uni obsession? it's basically the same feeling, in the sense that, all the causes, whys, wherefores, and extenuating circumstances are completely different.
It's 1 am and the end is nowhere in sight but my eyes are blurring over already.... sigh.
