2001-11-13 - 2:29 p.m.
Hello: Hi. I was prancing around in the mirror today pretending to talk to my future self.
Let's pretend that's not insane for a second, what did you say to future Babs?: Well, after initially making faces at her, I begged her to get a job and a life, and almost fell to my knees asking her to get a boyfriend.
Are you sure you want one of those? I hear they're very high maintanenance. Wouldn't you prefer a nice pet fish?: No! I want a boy! I'll love him and feed him and pet him and hug him and ... *reads over that sentence* um, let's pretend I didn't say that second last one, okay?
Ewwww, okay: But, then, I mean, at the same time I hate guys! I mean hello, we {females, united as we are of course} bleed for them! And literally too, just to have their dang children...
Almost makes you wish you were a lesbian, doesn't it?: Not exactly but yeah. And most guys will never know the pain of shaving/waxing/tweezing, they never have to worry over there bad hair, or fat legs ... and here are females practically killing themselves over ... stuff! ... or what about having to push a baby the size of a small watermelon out of a very small opening?!! Ew, graphic, but it had to be said...
...You almost make the guys sound like the smarter of the two: Well, they aren't! I blame society, society is evil, wah wah wah ...
I think someone's a lil PMS-y: :P well you'd be wrong! I just happen to be whiny all month long, is all! Urgh. You sound like such a guy sometimes. I almost want to discuss "secret women's business" just to freak you out...
...Please don't: I won't for now. But dangit, I would die to see the male population experience just one "that time of the month", complete with incapacitating pain and bitter mood swings ... Then all the females could look on with indifference, and occasionally point and laugh, point and laugh I say!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!
Don't get too carried away there: I'll carry you away!! ... I have no idea what that meant, but oooh, I think I just figured out the upside of this monthly bleeding thing...
Is it that by discussing it in this here diary, you have scared away any male audience you may have had going?: ... No. But thanks ever so much for pointing that out. Wow, have any guys survived reading my rant until this point? Leave a note for me and I will much applaud you for surviving thus far.
Didn't you have a point before I sidetracked you: Actually I did. My point was, when a female acts bitchy she can almost always be excused as pms-ing. But when a guy acts in a bastardly manner, he is renounced as a prick and remains one for almost evermore (...although admittedly he is renounced by females with the memories of elephants, but hey). Therefore, this whole blood-shedding-from-icky-places thing is actually equivalent to the power of being almost unlimitedly bitchy. So as a female who can wield this power, I feel I must conclude on this note...
Woo-Hoo!
*this entry was inspired by Shelley*
**NB: and also just to clarify for those who don't believe me, I am not PMS-ing. If I was, trust me, the happy cheering which ended this entry would have been replaced by some throat slashing, namely, yours ... Mwa-ha-ha-ha!**
Let's pretend that's not insane for a second, what did you say to future Babs?: Well, after initially making faces at her, I begged her to get a job and a life, and almost fell to my knees asking her to get a boyfriend.
Are you sure you want one of those? I hear they're very high maintanenance. Wouldn't you prefer a nice pet fish?: No! I want a boy! I'll love him and feed him and pet him and hug him and ... *reads over that sentence* um, let's pretend I didn't say that second last one, okay?
Ewwww, okay: But, then, I mean, at the same time I hate guys! I mean hello, we {females, united as we are of course} bleed for them! And literally too, just to have their dang children...
Almost makes you wish you were a lesbian, doesn't it?: Not exactly but yeah. And most guys will never know the pain of shaving/waxing/tweezing, they never have to worry over there bad hair, or fat legs ... and here are females practically killing themselves over ... stuff! ... or what about having to push a baby the size of a small watermelon out of a very small opening?!! Ew, graphic, but it had to be said...
...You almost make the guys sound like the smarter of the two: Well, they aren't! I blame society, society is evil, wah wah wah ...
I think someone's a lil PMS-y: :P well you'd be wrong! I just happen to be whiny all month long, is all! Urgh. You sound like such a guy sometimes. I almost want to discuss "secret women's business" just to freak you out...
...Please don't: I won't for now. But dangit, I would die to see the male population experience just one "that time of the month", complete with incapacitating pain and bitter mood swings ... Then all the females could look on with indifference, and occasionally point and laugh, point and laugh I say!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!!
Don't get too carried away there: I'll carry you away!! ... I have no idea what that meant, but oooh, I think I just figured out the upside of this monthly bleeding thing...
Is it that by discussing it in this here diary, you have scared away any male audience you may have had going?: ... No. But thanks ever so much for pointing that out. Wow, have any guys survived reading my rant until this point? Leave a note for me and I will much applaud you for surviving thus far.
Didn't you have a point before I sidetracked you: Actually I did. My point was, when a female acts bitchy she can almost always be excused as pms-ing. But when a guy acts in a bastardly manner, he is renounced as a prick and remains one for almost evermore (...although admittedly he is renounced by females with the memories of elephants, but hey). Therefore, this whole blood-shedding-from-icky-places thing is actually equivalent to the power of being almost unlimitedly bitchy. So as a female who can wield this power, I feel I must conclude on this note...
*this entry was inspired by Shelley*
**NB: and also just to clarify for those who don't believe me, I am not PMS-ing. If I was, trust me, the happy cheering which ended this entry would have been replaced by some throat slashing, namely, yours ... Mwa-ha-ha-ha!**
